I rubbed at the nausea burning in my gut. “They needed help, and I didn’t act soon enough.”
“So don’t make the same mistake again.” The weight in his words rattled my soul. “Be there for Ava because you care for her. Don’t ignore her when she needs you the most.”
“It’s too late.” I didn’t want to hear anymore. Guilt already riddled my bones. I didn’t need to be burdened with anyone.
“Isn’t the way she makes you feel worth fighting for?”
“All I’ve done is fight my feelings for her.”
“Then stop fighting. If you want to be with her, find a way to make it work like Sutton and I have. ”
The guilt of doing nothing would eat me alive. But the crater-load of bullshit that came with her ex wasn’t in my capacity to take on. She may always be in custody battles with Luther. I had too much of my own crap to deal with. I had Charlotte to take care of along with my own health concerns and my band’s tour to navigate over the months ahead. And what would be the point of being with Ava now? She’d eventually leave me.
“Flint, I beg you. Please stop. There’s nothing to fix. Nothing to work out. So drop it.”
Disappointment swam through his eyes. “You’re just going to let her go?”
My heart clawed my ribs, but I pushed the agony into the pit of my stomach and locked it away. “I’ve hurt her enough. This is for the best.”
“No. It’s not.” Fire flared in his voice. “Find a solution. You’re the smartest person I know. Get that head of yours out of your ass and use it.”
“Flint.” I swiped the vodka off the table and staggered back a step. “It’s been a long day. I’m drunk. All I want to do is finish this bottle and go back to the hotel. You got a problem with that?”
“No. But this isn’t over.”
“Yes. It is.”
I grabbed my bag and my jacket, and stormed out the door.
There was only one woman in my life I had to care about—that was my daughter.
She was all that mattered.
Not Ava.
Chapter 31
COLE
My body rocked from side to side, then swayed and rolled like I was on a tiny boat being tossed about on a turbulent sea.
“Cole? This isn’t your bed, silly.”
Charlotte. Why couldn’t she let me sleep?
“It’s a great bed.” Not really. My feet hung off the end of the sofa at an awkward angle. My cheek was squashed against the hard cushions. My head was hitting the armrest. I still wore the clothes I’d come home in from the venue last night, including my boots. I vaguely recalled that somewhere around three a.m., Beckett had carried my drunk ass into my suite and dumped me here where I’d obviously passed out. At least Ava used to make sure I’d gotten to bed...most of the time.
Now, she was gone. I’d drowned her out of my system with more vodka than the USA and France produced in a year. Yep. It was time to get on with my life. Hopefully...maybe...Ergh!
Charlotte tugged on my jacket. “But you’re not in your jammies.”
“Nope,” I mumbled against the cushion.
“Can we go to a park? It’s snowed.”
Great. I rolled and shuffled onto my back. As I licked my lips, my dry mouth tasted like dead animal. The vodka fumes on my breath hazed the air before my tired eyes. I glanced at my watch. Fuck! Six o’clock. “Yep. Later. When we get to New York, okay?” We had to leave at eight. Ergh!
“Yay!” She threw her arms across my chest, gave me a hug then dashed off toward her room.