Page 132 of Tortured Tones

His hot breath on my face made my head spin. Every muscle in my body cried. “Is that all?”

He pressed his forehead against mine. “And maybe a few other things...but yeah.”

I wanted him in every possible way, but he just wanted me as a fuck buddy. He didn’t feel the same way I did. “Then no.” I slipped out of his hold. “I need more than fun in bed.”

“I don’t just want that.”

“Yes, you do. I’m sorry. I can’t do this, Cole.” I splayed my hand across my chest. “I care about you. So much. And Charlotte. But we’re not living in some fairy tale. You’re...you, and I don’t want to drag you into my shitty life. I can’t comprehend being with you or anyone while Luther hangs custody over my head. Contemplating anything is impossible when a piece of my soul is missing. I want my son back. I want Luther out of my life. I want to be free. You can’t give me those things.”

“No, I can’t, but I’ll help in any way I can.” He took a step toward me, but I braced my hand against his chest to keep two feet between us.

“Don’t make this any harder than it already is. Being with you has caused me more problems and setbacks. You can’t help me.”

He grimaced like I’d punched him low in the guts. But it was the truth. “I want to.”

“Please don’t.” A tear slid onto my cheek. “But can you do me one thing?”

“Anything.”

“Say goodbye to Charlotte for me.”

Tears welled in his eyes. “No. You.”

“Don’t ask me to do that.” I needed to protect my heart. “She’s a kid. She’ll be okay. Just love her and tell her that every day.”

“Is this what you want? To walk away?”

“Yes.” It wasn’t. But it was the right thing to do.

His shoulders slumped. “Fuck, you’ve messed with my head.” His voice was barely audible. The sadness in his eyes nearly had me coming undone. But I had to be strong. I hadn’t performed my job to the best of my ability when I was with him because my heart overruled my head. I had to protect him and his daughter from my messed up situation with Luther.

“And you with mine.” I whispered. We were two tortured souls who couldn’t be together. Life had dealt us a crappy hand and shitty timing.

I took one last look into his gorgeous green eyes, stepped forward, and brushed my lips against his. “Goodbye, Cole.”

I dashed from the room and up to my floor. I let my room’s heavy door close behind me and sank onto the floor. Tears rolled down my cheeks, so hot they burned my skin.

How had my life ended up in more of mess now than it had been at the start of this gig? Oh, yeah.

I fell for Cole Fucking Tanner.

Somehow, with all my strength, I had to focus on Josh. I had to find a way to get him back. Luther wouldn’t get away with what he’d done to me.

And I was willing to sell my soul to take him down.

Chapter 30

COLE

“You’re letting her go?” Beckett shoved me on the shoulder as we walked back to my hotel room. “Cole, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

Other than everything?

Ava was right. I’d caused her nothing but problems. We’d tried to stay apart. But I couldn’t resist her, no matter how hard I tried. She’d weaved her way into the void inside my chest and ignited a fire that I hadn’t thought would ever burn again. I hadn’t wanted it lit again. But when we’d first met, one look from her, one slam against the wall, had struck the fuse. Now the blaze had caused irreparable damage to both of us. Nausea flooded my gut. If she lost Josh because of me I’d never forgive myself.

“Everything is wrong,” I hissed at Beckett. “She doesn’t want anything to do with me. She’s pissed and upset about being sent home, but she’s more worried about losing Josh.”

“Of course she is. Luther’s a sick fuck for following her and causing you and your band stress. Ava follows every rule, but seeing her risk it all for you is not like her. Josh is her life.”

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