Spinning on the spot, I take in the apparatus on the wall. Chris showed me a darker, delicious side of sex, but he never used any of these on me. It was more our kinky dynamic that we shared. Not…not that. Not chains. Not paddles. Not crops. Not…
“That’s a cage,” I gasp, noticing the small kennel-like enclosure on the floor next to the bed. It’s got padlocks.
I take a step back toward the door.
“Don’t worry.” Her back is to me as she opens a closet on the other side of the room. “He doesn’t want to use that.” She gets what she needs and turns to me. “Only these.”
Only a ball gag.
Only a huge dildo. This thing is never going to get inside of me.
Only restraints and a long bar. What’s that bar?
“Carla,” I hesitate and take another step back.
Turning around, she catches me slowly retreating.
“Oh no, please. Don’t do this to me. We’ll both be punished if I can’t get you ready for him. And it won’t be the fun kind. If Zeus learns about me failing an order from a Shadow, I’ll be in serious trouble.”
My heartbeat doubles. How can they do this to us? And why the fuck did I ever come here?
“You need to get undressed,” Carla implores, her voice less assured than it was until now. “And you need to let me get you ready for him. Please.”
The fear in her eyes doesn’t help mine. But I can’t risk our safety. Especially when I know I’ll still end up on this bed, and I’ll make it worse for the both of us.
I get rid of my clothes quickly, hoping if I’m fast, it won’t traumatize me as much.
If the rest of the night could go fast. Please…please go in the blink of an eye.
“Do you need any help putting these on?”
Arms crossed over my breasts to give me a semblance of dignity, I pad over to her side of the room. She points at some of the leather binds.
“I…” Why is it always so hard to talk with a knotted throat? I hate the vulnerability it displays. “I don’t really know how any of these work.”
Nodding, she taps my shoulder. “It’s okay. I’ll help you.” She sighs. “I’ve been an Aphrodite for five years, Ella. I promise you it’s been more pleasure than anything else. But I did it willingly. You?—”
“Me too. I just…I wasn’t sure what to expect.”
Rolling her lips inwardly, she nods again. “If you say so. We’ll start with the thigh straps.” She grabs two leather straps. “Just put one leg through each loop. I’ll tighten them for you.”
With trembling hands, I do so. Pulling the first one all the way to my thigh. Her eyes catch my scars, and I lick my dry lips. “Can I…can I be on my front? So he doesn’t see them?”
She knows what I mean and smiles softly. “He didn’t specify, so we’ll put you on your front. But it’s a more vulnerable position, just so you’re aware. He might move you too.”
“I don’t care.” As long as it’s a chance Reeves doesn’t see scars that clearly look like self-harm, then I’ll do it.
She tightens each strap around my upper thighs, and I look at the cuffs dangling from them.
“Those are for your wrists. It’ll keep them tied by your sides. That way, you can’t reach your mouth.” And her eyes dart to the ball gag.
My stomach twists and the pain there also reminds me I haven’t eaten anything today. At least it means I have nothing to puke.
“We’ll do the hands last. Get on your front on the bed. Middle is best.”
I execute, and she delicately spreads my legs. “I’m going to lock the spreader-bar. It stops you from closing your legs.”
I can’t reply. I have to bite my lower lip to not let out a desperate whimper.