Page 39 of Loving the Liar

“Abusive? Mom, have you seen me? I’m twice her size. Do you really think I care about a little slap? I barely felt it.”

“It’s the principle.” Her voice raises, her eyebrows pinching above the eyes we share. Not quite brown, not quite hazel, a perfect amber.

Your whiskey eyes get me drunk on you. That’s what Ella used to say.

I turn around, finishing clearing up the table. “I didn’t come here for relationship advice. Please.”

“Two people who love each other shouldn’t hit each other. This is wrong, Chris.”

I snort, but keep my back to her. “We don’t love each other. She has a trophy, and my dad stays alive. I think I’m winning here, really.”

Her hand wraps around my biceps, forcing me to turn around. “Please. Leave her. I can’t live like this. I can barely hold together with your dad in that state. I can’t handle knowing my son is in an abusive relationship.”

Pausing, I take in her empty eyes and graying hair. I’m annoyed, but it won’t do any good to get mad at her.

“Listen,” I sigh. “I do what Megan says, and Dad doesn’t get worse. It’s not that bad of a deal. She can’t hurt me. She’s annoying as hell, and most of the time, I want to bash her head against a wall, but this is temporary. By tomorrow night, I’ll be a full member of the Circle, and her power over us will diminish.”

“And then you’re stuck with her for life. Don’t you think I know how the Circle works?”

I shake my head. “I won’t be with her for life. Just be patient and trust me.”

She nods, but she mentions it again when we watch a movie together. And then again when I put her to bed and tell her I’ll be watching another movie downstairs in case she needs me. Nothing will convince her that I’m fine, and that’s only natural. She’s a mother; she knows when her child is suffering.

I rub my hand over my face, letting my head fall on the back of the sofa. Every time I close my eyes, baby blues and blonde hair flash in front of me.

My biggest regret in life is leaving Ella, and I’m paying today for the coward I was in high school. One woman. That’s all it takes for my heart to lose itself in an uneven symphony of beats. One word from her lips, and I’m ready to get on my knees for her. She’s the only person who truly knows me. She knows the façade of kind acts aren’t forced. I do have a side of me that is careful, caring, protective. But Ella has also met the other side. The side that comes out when I need to feel her close to me. That wants her all to myself. That would forgo reason just to keep her safe.

I have renowned patience for everything, but step out of line when it comes to Ella, and I’m not responsible for my actions.

I blink at the ceiling. I could spend hours thinking of her, on my own, with no other distraction. The only thing missing is her physically next to me.

Maybe if I’d had the balls to talk to Luke in high school and tell him Ella and I were dating, none of this would have happened. I wouldn’t have met Megan. Wouldn’t have fallen for her misunderstood-girl act.

But then I would have had no one to help me when the Circle went for my dad.

I huff for the hundredth time tonight, my thoughts going round and round. And in the end, there’s always one thing I come back to.

Ella Baker. My beautiful obsession. The one who still thinks I’ll allow her to move on from me. I might be stuck with a manipulative woman, but once I’m done with her, Ella will be mine. Even if it takes unconventional convincing.

Chapter Ten

Ella

Noose - Nessa Barrett

Ilet the music control my limbs. My eyeline stays up, my neck straight and extended, core engaged.

Pirouette. Pirouette. I hear my old teacher repeating sternly in my head.

I pause, flat into fifth, demi-pointe relevé, and I go again, my head spinning quickly to keep my eyes leveled on the mirror covering the entire wall of the rehearsing room.

Quality over quantity, Ella. Ms. Barry’s voice was so tough and yet elegant.

God, I miss when doing pirouettes was all I had to worry about.

I stop, push my shoulders down, and open my chest until my shoulder blades are touching at the back. And again.

Engage your core.

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