Page 29 of Loving the Liar

“Chris put me down as a visitor.”

I feel weird hearing that name from his mouth when I’m already looking around and wondering where he went.

He guides me to his car, and it’s only once we’re both sitting inside with the doors closed that he finally says what he came for.

“I didn’t get invited to the initiations.”

My heart drops.

Thump thump.

My ears buzz, and I feel like I’m falling backward even though I’m seated. I grip the seat with both hands. Anxiety spills through my veins, freezing my limbs.

I take a minute. Maybe more. I lick my lips, attempting to form my words.

“What does that mean?”

I don’t look at him, but I hear him take a deep breath, hesitating before he finally says, “I don’t know.”

“Is the Circle coming after us? Did you talk to them? Are you okay? Hurt?”

“Chris said he put my name forward, and after debating, they refused to invite me. He doesn’t know which board members refused, but we do know someone, or some people, don’t want me there.”

“What about?—”

“No,” he cuts me off right away. “You’re not going to the initiations. And I knew you were going to offer. That’s why I waited to tell you. They start tomorrow night, and it’s too late to get invited.”

The entire world falls apart around me. What are we going to do?

"Listen,” Luke says in his attempt at a reassuring voice. “Chris is going to get initiated tomorrow. After that…after that, I’m sure we’ll have more options.”

I’m going to be sick. Apparently, denial is a new thing my brother is trying out.

“We’re not safe, Luke.”

“I will always keep you safe. Nothing will happen to you.”

“I don’t care about me!” I snap. “I care about you and mom.”

I wish I could crawl into his brain and untangle his thoughts. This is too painful to witness.

“Go to class and go home. That’s all I’m asking for today, okay?”

“So, we’re taking it one day at a time? What’s the plan? Wake up every morning and check that none of us got murdered in the night?”

“Murdering us doesn’t teach us a lesson.”

“Then how does it work?” I push him.

“How about you stay out of it and let me handle it?”

“I can’t! You’re not handling anything!”

“Ella,” he seethes. And that’s when I look at him. It’s happening. They’re turning my sweet brother into a desperate man. Desperate men are dangerous. “Just because I keep you out of shit doesn’t mean I have no idea what I’m doing. They contacted me, okay? I’m talking to them. We just haven’t come to an agreement yet. But, for the last time, I’m asking you to stay out of it and let me deal with them.”

“Fine.” We stay silent for a minute or so and, thinking it’s a good way to change topic, I say, “I think I’ll go back to dancing now that dad isn’t here to stop me.”

“Els,” he huffs. “Not now.”

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