Page 169 of Loving the Liar

And the last one still brings the strangest feeling through my body. A mix of excitement, honor, and a pull at my heart.

If I ever give you this journal, remember the day they tried to keep me away from you. And remember I crawled home to you. I will always come home to you.

No matter how far Chris decides to stay, and however long he gives me, that string will always pull us back together. And I’m ready to say that to him.

I know he’ll be at his father’s grave because he’s there every Friday after class. Luke told me. But today, my heart falls.

He’s not here.

Out of nowhere, I’m hit with how badly I wanted him to be here. The graves around me start to spin, fear of having truly lost him freezing my blood. My knees hit the grass, and I struggle to take a breath. And for the first time in months, my hand reaches for my thigh. I scratch once, but it feels wrong.

I’m hurting, but I don’t want to hurt more. No, if anything, I want Chris to make it stop like I know he could.

I drop the flowers I had brought to his dad, reaching for my phone in my bag. I’m panicking, vision blurry. What if I lost him forever? What if he’s moved on because I made him wait for too long?

I press his name on my phone, and it rings once before he picks up.

“Ella.” He’s whispering, barely pronouncing his words like he doesn’t want anyone around him to notice he’s on the phone. “I’m in a quite important meeting, is everything alright?”

“I…” God, I suddenly feel so stupid. “I’m hurting.” There could not have been a worse time to do this. “You once said I should call you if…I was…I wanted to hurt myself. I’m so sorry, this is ridiculous.”

There’s the scrape of a chair, mumbled apologies to people around him. I hear him say he’s got an emergency, and then a door.

“Where are you? Don’t move. I’ll be there as soon as I can. I just have to get on the jet.”

“What?” My chest tightens. He has to get on a jet?

“Where are you?” he insists.

“At the…at the Stoneview cemetery. I came to see you…but you weren’t there.”

There’s the sound of an elevator ding. His voice cuts off when he speaks.

“Okay?” is all I hear.

“I don’t know what you said, but you don’t have to get on the jet…where are you?”

“Do not move. I’ll be there in less than five hours. I’ll stay on the phone the whole time.”

I bring my hand to my forehead, pulling at my hairline. “Wait, Chris, you don’t have to do any of this…”

“Talk to me.” In the background, I hear busy streets. “What made you call me? What hurts?”

“I feel stupid talking about it,” I admit, now playing with the grass around me.

“That’s okay. We can talk about something else. Did you have class with Olivia White today?”

“Of course you’d know about that,” I snort. “Been spying on me?”

“Always. But I learned to stay away, didn’t I?”

“Yes.” And I hate it, I don’t say. “Class with Olivia was nice. She’s doing really well.”

“I’m so glad. Are you happy that you’re dancing every day? Because I am.”

My heart skips a beat, and I can’t help a smile from spreading on my face. “I might have no future, but I’m so happy.”

“You happy is all that matters, Sw–” The way he cuts himself from saying my nickname is like a stab to the chest.

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