Page 137 of Loving the Liar

“You already have him, Megan.”

“Because I’m not giving him a choice. But if you shut him down once and for all, I’ll be there to pick up his broken pieces.”

“I tried.”

“No,” she snorts. “You pretended you didn’t want him, but everyone can see through that. Yes, no, yes, no. It’s so obvious you can’t resist him, it’s disgusting and pathetic. I want you to shut the door on him, lock it, and throw away the key.”

She’s right. It’s something I’ve always known myself, but that was easy to forget when Chris was away. I’m never able to truly say no to him, my will breaking at his first insistent actions.

But we all have that person, don’t we? That one individual we continuously accept back into our lives. The person we know will hurt us, but hope for the hundredth time will have changed. We all have our weaknesses, heart palpitating if we see a text from them after a long time waiting to have news. We melt when they give us attention and change our behavior to fit what they want from us in the hope that they’ll choose us this time.

They come in all shapes and forms. Sometimes it’s a toxic crush. He’s not that into you, but he won’t let you go. Sometimes it’s a family member who calls only when they need something. And sometimes…it’s an obsessed ex who enjoys manipulating you.

Who is the real danger when we adapt to the people who hurt us? Is it them? Or is it ourselves by showing them we are willing to accept their behavior? The truth is, the stupid saying of loving yourself fully before loving someone else is too common to ignore. Because if we wait for someone else to fill the well of love in our heart, they might fill it with poison instead.

The intensity of Megan’s gaze makes me want to shrink, but I force myself to stand still. Time protracts, the room becoming just me and her. And I break.

“I will. I’ll close the door. I’ll throw away the key.”

She relaxes on the sofa, resting back like a king on a throne.

“The Juilliard thing wasn’t a lie,” she explains. “I know because I was the debt.”

“Excuse me?”

She lets out a little sigh, understanding she’s going to have to explain every single thing to me.

“A Shadow can ask any favor of his brothers in the Circle. But Chris wasn’t a Shadow when you applied to Juilliard. He and I had been dating, and he broke up with me for the first time saying he ‘still had feelings for his ex.’ Little did I know that by feelings, he meant insanely obsessed.” She snarls the last words like it’s my fault.

“He asked them for a favor. He wanted your application rejected. And a favor from the Circle always comes with a debt. I was the debt. My dad was desperate to get me in as a Hera, and I needed someone to marry. That was the deal. He tried to leave so many times, like he had a choice. And then his dad betrayed yours, and he understood that this was serious. He asked me to save him, and I had to remind him that if he wanted his pitiful thing of a father to stay alive, he had to be with me, and be loyal.”

Was she born this evil, or did life make her that way? She talks about Chris being obsessed, but she does the exact same things as him. She trapped him like he tried to trap me.

“You didn’t even protect his dad,” I hiss.

“I did. But then he tried to break up again. He wanted to move back to Stoneview, transfer to Silver Falls University to keep a closer eye on you. So I showed him what happens when I don’t protect his dad. Poisoned. Ever heard of organophosphates? It wasn’t pretty, believe me. But hey, he wanted an excuse to move back to Stoneview. I gave him one.”

“What else?” I ask between clenched teeth. Will I even be able to stop myself from killing her before she gets to the end? “He ruined my chances at getting into my dream school. What. Else.”

“He knew you were in Reeves’s class and told him he wanted to be his assistant. Reeves had already picked Rose White, so that’s why there are two assistants this year.”

“What the hell.” I shake my head. It seems small compared to Juilliard, but it’s still manipulative.

I can feel the will to understand him leaving me. I feel numb, practically paralyzed from learning about this.

“Matias and Enzo. He’s the one who hurt them.”

I knew that, but it doesn’t mean it makes it any easier to digest.

“And the two guys who had an ‘accident’ for driving under the influence after that first party of the year? He’s the one who drugged them.”

“Anything else?”

“You should take a seat.” She points at the armchair perpendicular to her, and I stop trying to force my trembling legs to hold me up.

Once I’ve fallen into the seat, she licks her lips, smiles, and destroys me.

“Who invited you to the initiations?”

---