Page 129 of Loving the Liar

“When your mind begs you to let go and let it happen, mine is already far down the rabbit hole. You will never love me like I love you, Ella. It hurts, and it gives me false hope. It drives me insane and pulls me back every time. You can’t possibly ever feel the same way. But I’ll take anything you give to me.” He takes in a shaky breath. “Anything, please.”

But that would be insane. Because anything is impossible. He’s stuck with her and I… I will always be the dirty secret. Or his dad could die.

So I break our hearts for both our sakes. There is no need to hope for the unattainable. Chris’s manipulation and lies to have me will never stop. And Megan’s schemes won’t either. She wants him. She has proven countless times that she will do anything to have him. Hell, she’s destroying me by pretending to be Hermes and attacking me through the account.

I’m the one who has to put an end to this madness.

With tears burning the backs of my eyes, I push him away by the shoulders, refusing to look away from the heartbreak translating on his beautiful face. He falls back, sitting on the floor. The man, who was once as strong as the wall of Troy, now crumbles like a house of cards.

And I walk away.

He doesn’t follow.

He doesn’t say anything.

I can only breathe again once I’m outside the hospital, but I’m moving on autopilot. If I don’t stop, I’ll crumble. In my daze, I bump shoulders with someone, mumbling a sorry before their voice makes a chill run down my spine.

“Always where he is, aren’t you?”

My head turns to stare at Megan with so many emotions going through my mind I can’t even find one word to express them.

“So…” She takes a threatening step toward me, and now that I know so much, I wonder how much I should fear her. “You’re on the list.”

“I am.”

It feels strangely good to stand my ground in front of her. And I’m not doing it because I will fight with her over Chris. I lost that fight a long time ago. I’m doing it because she’s an abuser, and she hurt someone I…love.

“You know he’ll never leave me, Ella. You’re only hurting yourself by hanging on.” She talks the same way an older sister would. Like she’s giving me advice on a toxic man she’s trying to protect me from.

“And you know forcing someone to stay with you doesn’t really mean they’re yours. You can’t blackmail someone into loving you.”

She snorts, rolling her eyes like it’s a chore to talk to someone as clueless as me.

“It’s funny coming from the girl who has no idea how badly she’s being manipulated. The only reason Chris managed to keep you wrapped around his finger is because everything hurting you comes from him.”

“Excuse me?” Now I sound really dumb.

Smirking, she crosses her arms over her chest. “You have no idea half of the things he’s done to keep you within reach. You should thank me for keeping him. I’m saving you a lifetime of toxicity, trust me.”

“And you have no idea what you’re talking about,” I hiss, even as my stomach churns in warning. “You’re a pathetic, abusive bitch who met him once he was already heartbroken from our breakup. You took advantage of him and the Circle threatening his family. You know nothing of the man he truly is. Whoever you brought back with you from Yale is not him. You don’t know him.”

“God, I almost feel bad for you. You’re so naïve. Do you really believe your problems started when he came back? They started when you let him into your life. If you think the way I act is insane, start asking yourself about the things he did. It didn’t start this year.”

She leans down to look directly into my eyes. “His stupid, pointless obsession with keeping you close started well before you even went to SFU. Don’t believe me? Let’s see, do you think you never got into Juilliard because you weren’t good enough? Or because someone who could ask the Circle for a favor had your application denied? Someone who wanted you in a college where they knew people, where they could keep an eye on you. Where they could be close to you every time they came back to Stoneview? That shit didn’t start with me. He was always a psycho obsessed with you.”

My eyes bounce between hers, looking for something. A lie. The truth. I don’t know what I want. Frustration grows within me, and I shove her back.

“You’re fucking crazy,” I snarl. “Stay the hell away from me.”

I don’t want to run and show her she’s won, but I walk faster than I ever have.

I can’t breathe, thinking of the things she said. Chris would never do this. Yes, he’s been acting irrational since transferring to SFU. And that’s not something I’m willing to forget so soon. But he didn’t…he didn’t plan my whole life behind my back. He would never. But then again…he just admitted to killing my father.

I walk for a while, not wanting to wait for a taxi right where Megan can reach me. It’s a small lane through the forest. I need the silence, the fresh air of the evening. I need to feel the pieces of my heart shattering and scattering into the wind. I must never forget that every time I let Chris close, the pain crushes me to dust.

Night has fallen, only a line of dark blue lingering on the horizon. It’s only when I can get out of my own head that I look for my phone to order a taxi and freeze.

Chris still has it.

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