Page 51 of Savage Spades

“I fucked up. I was just messed up after everything that happened with Megan--”

“Did you agree to convince me to sell the bar?” she snapped.

He swallowed, and his eyes dropped to the floor. That’s the only confirmation she needed.

“Well, so that you know, I’m not selling. And you can tell the rest of your club that.”

His jaw ticked. “Cam, this is serious, you need--”

“I don’t need to do anything! How about you go back to your fighting buddies if you’re that mad about what I do with my bar? That’s where you go when things get hard, right? I was fine before you guys came in and decided to make this your new drinking spot, and I will be fine afterward.”

“Fine?” he snapped. She couldn’t help being happy that she finally got under his skin like he had been getting under hers. “You owed a debt to a man that wouldn’t hesitate to kill you.”

“News flash, nothing has changed. I’m in the same spot I was in before.”

He put his hands up in front of him. “You know what? Fine. You want to put your head in the sand and act like you never need anyone’s help. Well, I’m not going to be there when it bites you in the ass.”

She watched his back as he walked away. With a heavy sigh, she lowered herself into the office chair and allowed the tears to come. The lump in her throat became bigger the longer she sat there. After a moment, she wiped her eyes and stood up. Just like any other time in her life, she had to be strong and get through the day, even when she felt like complete shit.

*****

Two Weeks Later

Beep. Beep. Beep.

She searched the bed for her phone and swiped to turn it off. Her head was killing her, and it had nothing to do with drinking. She was up most of the night, trying to play catch-up on all her homework that she’d fallen behind on. She hadn’t gotten home from the bar until one a.m., and she wasn’t even sure how many hours she’d been doing homework.

Her body ached as she forced herself out of the comfort of her bed. And into the shower before getting dressed in a haze. Putting one foot in front of another felt like a challenge when she was this exhausted, but she did it anyway, so she could get some coffee in her system. She jumped as she came around the corner and saw Jen awake and sitting at the table.

“Shit, you scared me. Why are you up so early?” Cam asked as she walked to the coffee pot and grabbed the Folgers out of the cabinet.

“I just go home. After I got off, I hung out at the clubhouse with Hugo. I ended up staying the night.”

Cam wanted to ask about Kit, but she shoved that thought to the back of her mind and pressed the on button so the coffee could brew. She leaned against the counter and watched as Jen scrolled through her phone.

“I have my early class today, so I’ll be at the bar for the rest of the day if you need me.”

She didn’t know why she was telling Jen that. Jen knew where to find her. An uncomfortable silence hung between them. Cam already knew how Jen felt about the bar situation. She had expressed to Cam nearly every day since their last conversation that the bar was losing money.

“Kit asked about you,” Jen said.

Cam’s ears perked up. “What did he say?” She hated that she sounded so desperate.

“He just asked how you were doing… I wasn’t sure what to tell him.”

“Tell him I’m doing fine.”

“Cam--”

“I’m fine, Jen. I’ve been fine without the stupid motorcycle club. I’m doing what I’ve always done. I go to school, and I run my bar.”

“The bar isn’t making any money, and you’re exhausted!” Jen snapped.

Cam ignored her and walked out of the kitchen, forgetting about the coffee. She’d have to buy a soda on the way. The summer heat was finally starting to die down into fall weather, but she barely noticed the cool breeze against her bare arms as she walked outside. She hopped in her truck and slammed the door.

Once inside the stillness of the cab, she put her hands up to her face. She could do this. She did this last year, and she was fine. Except that she almost failed all her classes and the bar never made money, a little voice said in her head.

She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. For a brief second, she wished life came as natural to her as it did Jen. Jen never had anything to worry about. She made her money bartending, paid her bills, and blew the rest on clothes or now dates with Hugo. Cam could barely even imagine a life without one hundred things on her plate. She started the truck and headed to school. Because unlike Jen, Cam had a lot on her shoulders.

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