Page 61 of Our Blood, Our Pain

His fingers leave my body and a hard, wet cockhead is replaced at my entrance. I clench just as he pushes forward, wanting it so bad that my ass is excited. Steadily, his cock glides into me, returning to where it belongs, and the fullness just fills me with elation. A euphoric feeling of ownership. The ownership that’s a lie. He doesn’t want me here.

Jules shows no mercy on me, and fucks me like I asked. Hard, unforgiving and fast. The hard, thick flesh no doubt will leave an imprint on me, and I welcome it. The car creaks beneath us as the rain starts to lighten, turning into drizzle as the sounds of our fucking are the new soundtrack on this back road.

“Harder, do it harder!” I shout. Long groans are the only noise I can make as he somehow manages to ramp up the speed. My ass is gonna be sore but I don’t care. Jules can fuck me to death for all I care, if it’s him doing it, I’ll allow it.

“Fuck, Kai, shit, you’re so tight around me. I’m gonna fill you up,” Jules moans as a warmth fills me on the inside. His cum doesn’t stop as it spurts from him in long streams. As he comes, toward the end of his orgasm, he reaches around and grabs my dick, jerking it with great speed and determination. I’ve been on the edge so long it only takes a handful of strokes before I erupt on a shout, all over the hood of his car. The love of his life.

Jules keeps his body covering mine, making it hard to breathe beneath him.

“You need to believe me, Kai. We’ll leave here together, or stay here together. There is no separating. We’re joined together forever. Believe me or not, it still doesn’t change that you’re mine for eternity.”

I’m on the verge of crying again and it pisses me off. These words this morning would’ve had me smiling at Jules like he hung the moon. Now it just makes me feel as pitiful as Dima described. I am too emotional. I’m too human. I don’t think I possess whatever it is you need to be in the Kozlov family, or even with Jules. I have to look out for myself. But for now, I do the one thing that I have been taught well. I lie.

“You’re right. Can we get back to the house now? I’m freezing and dying to get clean and warm,” I say, hoping he’s convinced by my acting.

“Yeah. Come on. You take my car and I’ll meet you back at the house.”

Jules pulls away from me and we straighten ourselves out in silence. After I’ve made myself look decent, I turn to see Jules watching me. Searching my face, for what I don’t know.

“Don’t ever lie to me, Kai.”

Fucking hell. Let’s try this again.

“I’m not lying, Jules. I’m cold and tired. Plus I’m allowed to still be upset.”

“Fair enough. Let’s get out of here.”

Jules walks over to Seb’s bike and waits for me to drive ahead of him. I watch him in the rearview mirror and say my goodbyes. It’s better this way.

When we arrive back at the Kozlov’s, Simon is the first to greet us as we both pull up, stomping out of the house like he’s on a mission.

“Where the hell have you two been? And what the fuck happened to your face?”

I look at Jules, refusing to answer. I want no part of this. Tired of being on the receiving end of a verbal bashing.

“Out. Had a fight. Now we’re back. What’s got your panties in a twist?” Jules says, not helping Simon’s mood in a positive way at all.

“I’ve had Lev calling me, breathing down my neck wanting us to head over to the club.”

“Where’s D?”

“In a meeting. Can we go? Lev won’t be getting any happier.”

“Alright, you need to chill. Kai, will you be okay here?” Jules asks. After everything that’s happened today, he has the nerve to ask me that?

“You tell me.”

“Stop brooding, I’m only asking. I know you’ll be fine. Come on Si, before you piss yourself.”

Jules takes his car keys from my hand and clutches my jaw so tightly, the ache radiates to my ears.

“Don’t doubt me, Kai. I meant what I said earlier.” He then leans in and sucks my lower lip into his mouth. I can’t control the groan when he bites down hard before sweeping his tongue over the area. What’s wrong with me? Every hurt he has marked on my body rejuvenates my soul. It’s not normal.

Just like that, he walks away with Simon, leaving me stranded in a dark place of concussion and fear. Confused with how I feel and with the wants he brings out in me, and fearful of how I’ll keep living without him.

“Oh good. He hasn’t totalled my bike,” Seb says as he struts over to his bike, giving it a once over.

“He didn’t go far.”

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