Page 13 of Our Blood, Our Pain

“Never question me or speak to me like that again in front of the others. You will do as you’re told, Kai. The brothers are not a joke. That so-called gang would’ve hurt you, or you’d be doing time. Here, you’re protected.”

“Jules, let go,” I rasp, still trying to free his hand from my neck. He loosens his fingers, but only slightly. I greedily swallow down the air that now fills my lungs like I’ve been submerged underwater. But fuck me is it a rush, adrenaline lights up my body, the feeling of freefalling from the sky takes me on a high that I’ve never experienced before. Oh my god, what’s wrong with me? Do I have a choking kink?

“Don’t make me do this again, Kai. Be good, and there will be no problems. No matter what you think, I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“That’s rich. You don’t want me to get hurt, but you nearly just choked me to death.”

Jules pulls away from me and stares at my neck. His perusal lowers, and warmth blooms on the back of my neck as I realize what he’s staring at. I’m hard—a hard freak.

“Doesn’t look like I’ve hurt you from here,” he smirks, and goes to leave.

“Be out front in five; you’re meeting the brothers.”

9

JULES

What the fuck was that? Did I just flirt with Kai? Why the hell does it matter? The little shit is getting mouthy, and going by his reaction to being strangled, I’m not sure if that will be more of a reward for him than a punishment. Images of choking him while fucking him play like a reel in my head, tying him to the headboard where he can’t break free as I destroy his body piece by piece.

Where the fuck is this all this coming from? I’m straight. Plus he’s Kai…my sister's boy.

I can’t wait for today to be over. Talk about exhausting. I kinda get where Kai is coming from, but he doesn’t understand that whether or not you agree with the Kozlov’s dealings, it’s a legitimate business. Very different from being in a stupid ass group of thugs who have no rules or direction and just want to cause harm and chaos. I don’t want him to piss off Lev and Dima as I didn’t predict Kai needing such an attitude adjustment. Simon was ready to knock him out earlier, and Kai will need all the support he can get while he settles into life here. I want it to work out for him. Going back home would be the worst outcome for him right now.

Kai strolls out of his bedroom and meets me at the door, avoiding eye contact, and I’m not sure if that’s because of how I made it awkward by mentioning his hard dick. Still no idea why I did that, but here we are.

“Come on. Let’s introduce you. Be polite and keep the attitude at bay.”

“Yeah, yeah. Otherwise I’ll be taken to, what was it called? The holding pen? Do I want to know what that is?”

“It’s a room below the house where we deal with problems.”

“Problems. Code for torture chamber.”

I look over my shoulder at him as we walk to the main house.

“Yep. Although many don’t leave alive. And I mean bad people.”

“Great. How the hell did you get into this? You talk about violence and death like it's normal.”

I come to a stop and turn to face Kai. It’s easy to forget when you live amongst the scum of evil that others on the outside still have light in their life. Striving to be good.

“I had nothing when Lev and Dima took me in. I was nothing but a resentful and angry abandoned kid, who would’ve ended up either dead or locked up if it wasn’t for the brothers. Even at my worst they’re beside me. All they ask for is loyalty.”

“Do you enjoy hurting people? Have you killed anyone?” Kai’s question is asked with both innocence and intrigue. I don’t detect any disgust, but his tone is judgemental.

“Yes I have and I don’t feel bad for it. It’s not like we pick up strangers, Kai, and kill for fun. It’s a job. It keeps us safe. Do I enjoy it? Now that’s a very different question.”

“Well answer it then. I’m not going in there until you tell me who you are, because to be honest, you sound like a monster,” Kai says as he stands there with his arms crossed like he can intimidate me.

“Fair enough. The brothers taught me how to fight, how to use guns and knives. I’d watch them work until they felt I was ready to be more involved. The first time I interrogated anyone in the holding pen, it was with my fists. Hurting someone with my bare hands has been my preference since that day. When I punched that fucker, the loud crunch of his broken nose did something to me where the heavy weight in my chest disappeared, replaced by a clarity that I didn’t need to think or feel anything but the raw power of my hands, and the adrenaline rush it gave me.”

Kai is staring at me wide eyed, surprised by my brutal honesty. But for some reason, I don’t stop. Exposing myself for who I am is necessary for him to be here. To accept this life.

“Then after the adrenaline dropped like a passing storm, an intense relief filled me where everything was calmer and quieter. As time went on and the more people I hurt started to mount, the more I craved that feeling. It replaced all the shit your grandparents threw at me and it was the best thing to happen to me because I wouldn’t be where I am right now. Does that answer your question?”

Kai swallows hard, letting his arms fall to his side before he puts them in his pockets and lowers his head, looking at the ground.

“You really are a stranger.”

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