Page 6 of Our Blood, Our Pain

“I know. But now’s the time for moving forward.”

“I suppose. There’s a decent diner on the other side of town we can go to.”

“Awesome.”

We get into the car and relax into the sumptuous black leather sport seats as the V8 engine revs to growling life, and Kai directs me to the diner.

4

KAI

I want to slap myself around the face to convince myself that this is real right now. That I’m sitting in this hot ass car with Jules. Jules. When I spoke to Mom early this morning, she told me that he was coming into town to pick me up from jail. I thought it was a joke. Well, I guess the joke’s on me. And why, you may ask? Because the teenage crush that I’d had on him, which I convinced myself was hero worship, turned out to be bullshit. As soon as my eyes landed on him at the station, I felt the air leave my body. I’m bisexual and my desire for men started with Jules. I thought it was just him at first, but over the years I’ve enjoyed the occasional fuck around with guys. But Jules is in a league of his own. Now that I’m a grown man, the term uncle feels not only ridiculous but wrong in a dirty way. We’re only a few years apart in age and the way he spikes my want for him is certainly no familia feeling although it does feel taboo. Forbidden. I don’t even want to assess for a second how I felt when he threatened me just now. I shiver even thinking about it.

Christ, I should be worrying about the fact that he informed me that I’m leaving home to work with him, rather than overthink how the crush I had on him is now back in full force. I’m so pissed that Jules and my mom arranged this behind my back, like I’m some child being passed around the family. I suppose in my mom’s eyes, I am a child. A complete disaster and failure that she always has to bail out of trouble. It’s not that I want to be like this. I don’t. But life isn’t easy around these parts. I have no qualifications to my name. All I have is the long list of fuck ups since I started hanging around with Jez. After we both failed to graduate, it led to us spending more time with his brother, Zac, and trying to earn some money—days bled into one another, drinking, stealing, causing trouble with other guys like what happened last night. The cycle is never-ending, but what options do I have?

I let out a self-deprecating sigh, leaning my head back against the headrest and closing my eyes. Maybe leaving with Jules is the best thing. It would break all ties with this town and allow my mom to have some form of a life without worrying about me.

“You okay?” Jules asks from beside me as we wait at a red light. I turn my face to the side and watch him for a moment. His short blond hair makes him look like he’s part of the military, and his lightly tanned skin and bulging forearms look veiny from how tightly he grips the steering wheel. As I run my eyes over that perfect body, I meet those icy blues staring into my soul. Even though we aren’t blood related, it’s quite comical how similar we look in some ways. My hair is a darker blond, bordering brown, and my blue eyes are softer than his icy. But we’re similar heights and have the same complexion. He is slightly more built than me, but our matching features are subtle. Or maybe that’s just my imagination.

“I’m tired, and not looking forward to the lecture from Mom.”

The light changes, and we drive off. Jules’s attention is back on the road.

“She just wants what’s best for you, Kai. As do I. Just give it a shot, and come with me to work.”

“What is it you do, anyway?”

There’s a long pause as Jules thinks over his answer. I vaguely remember he worked in some kind of security, but it’s been so long since we’ve seen him that his job could’ve changed.

“I provide security to a family in Grinston, which is on the outskirts of New York. We’re a guard down, and my boss agreed to give you a trial run.”

“What happened to the guard?”

“He got laid off. It wasn’t working out,” he says, and I don’t miss how he avoids eye contact when he responds. Call it a gut feeling, but something seems off in his reply. As I’m about to confront him, we arrive at the diner and park up. I picked a place that I know Jez and the guys never visit, because the last thing I need is them swarming around me and Jules, asking questions.

As we get inside, the waitress leads us to a booth next to the window that overlooks the rundown parking lot out front. The diner needs a makeover. I don’t think it’s been touched since the 1980s. But the coffee is good here. The waitress leaves us with menus and scuttles off to seat other customers.

Jules is looking at the menu, so I take the opportunity to watch him greedily. He’s even sexier than he was all those years ago, the boyish image gone, replaced with this mature, intense, and intimidating man. I really can’t believe he’s here, that he’s come here because of me. What did Mom tell him?

“So, why’d you come?” I ask.

Jules looks up and drops his menu onto the table before clasping his hands together, leaning on the worn surface.

“Because your mom was worried, and despite what you may think, I do care.”

“Why did you go silent on us for all those years?”

Jules rubs his chin with his hand, watching me as he formulates a response.

“There are things you don’t know or understand about my life, Kai. It was better for you and your mom if I just kept my distance. But I was always a phone call away.”

“Did Mom stay in touch?”

“Yes. Not regularly, but we messaged on birthdays or Christmas. Why? She never tell you?”

“No, she didn’t.”

Why didn’t she say anything? I didn’t think she kept secrets from me. I’ve kept many secrets from my mom, about the things me and the guys did, but it doesn’t stop the hurt that she never mentioned being in contact with Jules, and never included me.

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