Page 37 of Our Blood, Our Pain

“Bossy asshole,” I say, grumbling as I quickly throw my shorts on and stomp out of the room. My ass hurts with every stride until I reach my room and go to take a shower. I turn the faucet on, waiting for the water to heat up, I assess myself in the mirror. Holy shit, my body is covered in hickeys. My neck is starting to bruise from his strong hands, and I’m transfixed with how I look. I can’t resist running my fingers over each mark he has left, excited at the soreness of the evidence he’s left on my body for anyone to see.

It’s perfect. He owns me. And I crave more.

As I get into the shower, I allow myself to enjoy the steaming warmth of the water that soothes my aching muscles, and alleviates the pain of Jules’s marks. I’m truly awake for the first time, to who I am and who I want to be. How did I not see it before? The years of sticking around with those assholes back home, restricted me much more from life than just achieving a better living situation. It robbed me of being who I am, a man that wants to be free to love and fuck whoever I want. To have something for myself. In this case, to have the man who has just ruined me for any other to own me completely and for us to show it to the world. But is that reality? While it may or may not bother Jules, my mom is a huge problem in this. Will she accept it? She will most likely look at it differently than others. She sees Jules as her brother and my uncle, and I don’t think we will be able to convince her otherwise. Whether it hurts her or not, Jules wasn’t in my life, he didn’t play that role, and the reality is that we aren’t related. But I doubt she’ll see it that way.

The question is, am I willing to give up the only family I have, the woman who raised me, for the opportunity to chase after love? An all consuming, life altering, possessively obsessed, can’t-live-without love?

And as much as it breaks my heart…I think the answer would be yes.

24

JULES

Kai left with Simon before I was out of the shower, and now I’m walking over to the main house for a meeting with Lev and Dima. I know I’m gonna get called out on questioning Lev in front of everyone in the holding pen. To be honest, with the high I’m riding today after the amazing night with Kai, I don’t think anything can touch the good feelings buzzing in my body. I just need to make sure I don’t show it on my face. If Kai and I are going to do this together, we’ll have to separate our relationship and work, otherwise it will spill into the group, and it won’t be a pretty conclusion if it affects any business for the brothers.

The house is quiet when I enter the kitchen, so I walk through the downstairs corridors until I reach the office that is mainly Dima’s, but they share when needed. I give a quick knock before I open the door and walk in to see Dima and Lev sitting across from one another at the large wooden desk that fills half the space. Dima is sitting on the business side in his ridiculously opulent leather chair, and Lev is on the other side in a similar seat.

“Hey Jules,” Dima says in greeting. I close the door behind me as Lev stands from his chair, silent, as he strolls towards me and punches me in the stomach with as much power as he can summon. I crunch over, holding my stomach as I try to gasp for air, fuck that hurt. He doesn’t give me much chance to get my bearings before he pulls me upright and grabs my face with both hands until the bones in my lower jaw ache from the pressure.

“I should end Kai for letting Aaron be taken by that sick fuck,” he seethes in my face.

That comment has me wanting to fight back. If Lev was so concerned, he should’ve taken Aaron himself.

“You should’ve never given him the responsibility, he wasn’t ready.”

“I think he proved that point, smartass. He’s a liability, if he can’t handle a little babysitting then what can he handle? It’s his last chance, Jules.”

“I understand.”

“Oh, and one more thing, you question me or Dima like that ever again and I will put a bullet in your head, Jules. We’re in charge. Loyalty and respect first. Are we clear?” Lev snarls at me, spittle flying from his mouth. He’s a caged lion that’s been allowed to challenge his subordinate. I fucked up because I allowed my distraction with Kai to take over.

“It won’t happen again. You have my word.”

Lev stands back and adjusts his shirt, watching me for any hint of a lie before nodding.

“Good. Now sit, we need to run over some stuff.”

I’m still dazed by the assault, but I try to brush it off and sit in the chair next to Lev that faces Dima, who looks contemplative. He watches me with those sharp blue eyes, scanning me for information.

“What’s going on between you and Kai?” Dima says.

“We’re working shit out. He’s a little shaken about Aaron, still.”

“And so he should be,” Lev says.

I don’t argue with Lev after everything that’s just happened in this office. I don’t want to inflame the situation anymore than it already is.

“So, you’re fucking, then?” Lev asks, giving me his standard conversation whiplash.

“No, we’re…” I start to say before Dima cuts me off.

“You must be fucking as you didn’t have that hickey yesterday.”

“It’s not just fucking. He’s mine.”

“Ha! Welcome to the asshole club. Aaron’s mine and Seb belongs to Dima. As long as that’s clear it’ll all be good. Nephew fucker,” Lev quips.

“Step…”

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