Page 29 of Our Blood, Our Pain

“Yeah, Lev and Aaron are on their way with D.”

“You not staying?” I ask Seb, which earns me a flat expression. I knew he wouldn’t, but it’s fun to rile him up.

“No thanks. I’ve got shit to do while you all play. Have fun,” Seb says as he turns and leaves.

Half an hour later, most of us are gathered in the holding pen where Jake and Tommy are tied up, awaiting their grizzly fate. I’ve seen Lev at his most crazy, but it’s nothing on this. With Aaron by his side, Lev is unrecognizable. The hunger for pain and blood emanating off him so strongly, I swear I can taste the metallic flavor on my tongue.

As things are about to get started, I wonder where Kai is, only for him to walk through the heavy door into the pen as if summoned by my thoughts. My eyes immediately fly to the bruise on his jaw, my body moving before I can do anything to stop it, as if tethered to him by a thread. I hold his face in my palms. Kai refuses to look at me. The meek boy ever present on the surface, flitty and unsure. I thought he didn’t get hurt.

“What the fuck happened?” I ask Kai. Instead, Lev responds.

“I did it. He was supposed to watch Aaron and didn’t notice he’d been taken by these pricks,” he says, eyebrows raised, daring me to question him. I know it’s written all over my face. How dare he touch Kai, how much I want to punch Lev for touching what’s mine. Lev has always been able to read me like a book.

“Careful Jules, remember you recommended him, and if you have a problem with how I deal with my men, you’re more than welcome to sit down between these two,” he says, pointing between Jake and Tommy.

Not wanting to add any more fuel to the fire that’s already at explosive levels in this room, I mutter a half assed ‘sorry’ before averting my attention back to Kai.

“What are you doing down here?” I say to Kai, not convinced he should be a part of this.

But you made him a part of it when you dragged him here.

“I fucking told him to come down here, now if you’ve both finished your daily catch up and questioning your boss, it’s time to move this shit along,” Lev says, and I know this isn’t over.

“Kai, you get over here now,” Lev orders.

“You stand here and observe, when I ask you to do something, you do it. Understand?”

“Yes, I understand,” Kai says, his voice dull and monotone, so unknown to me. Have we broken him? Will Kai want to leave and never look back?

The morning drags on, blood is spilled and secrets shed. I also learned today that Aaron has a violence kink, which in a way doesn’t surprise me. Lev and Aaron are in their own little world when Lev orders us all to leave so he and Aaron can deal with Jake together. Fuck knows what they’re gonna do to him, but I wouldn’t want to be him right now.

I stand outside the holding pen door with Kai, trying to gauge where his head is at. He still refuses to look at me.

“Kai, talk to me.”

“There’s nothing to say. I fucked up and Aaron nearly died.”

“It was a mistake. It wasn’t your fault.”

“It doesn’t matter what you think, Lev blames me and I blame me, too.”

“Bullshit. Lev should never have given you that responsibility, it was too soon.”

Finally, Kai looks at me but not in the way I crave. I want those eyes to be full of adoration and the need to be with me, not the venom that is fully aimed my way.

“Save it. I don’t need the ‘I told you so’ speech. We all know you are right and everyone else is wrong. Perfect Jules. The fucking saint who kills and tortures.”

“I never claimed to be a saint, and I certainly am not going to mother you through this. It happened and you need to stop projecting that shit onto me.”

“Whatever.”

Kai rolls his eyes like a grumpy teenager, forcing the controlling asshole inside me to break free. I grab him by the shirt collar and pull him close to me.

“I’m losing patience, Kai. Maybe you need to be toughened up.”

“Let me guess, you’ll be the one to do it?”

“I sure as shit ain’t letting anyone else touch you. I think a little sparring session will sort your attitude out.”

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