Page 26 of Our Blood, Our Pain

“I will, but you’re coming with me, Dima wants us to collect payments from the crews. Lev wants Kai covering the house.”

“On his own?” I ask, incredulous at the suggestion. It’s too soon for Kai to be taking on such responsibility. In my opinion.

“I think Kai can handle himself, Jules. Besides, it’s not your choice,” Simon says, and I want to punch him.

“It’s okay, Si. Jules thinks I should be in a nursery or going on playdates with other kids,” Kai chirps up behind me, sarcasm in full effect.

“Watch it,” I say in warning. He just rolls his eyes at me and storms past me, heading for the door, while Simon continues to watch like this is some kind of amusing TV show.

“Where are you going?” I ask.

“Unless you’re deaf, Uncle Jules, you should know that I’m going to do my job and what my boss has requested me to do. You know, like most responsible working adults,” Kai sasses at me and slams the door behind him, leaving me in a limbo of wanting to slap his ass raw or swaddle him up to keep him with me at all times.

“You got your hands full there,” Simon says, chuckling. I think he’s too smug right now, so I decide to get a jab in and humble the bastard.

“Could be worse, I imagine Carlos is more than a handful.”

The look Si shoots me is full of warning that I may be grappling him on the floor next. Everyone has that button to press that sends them into a crazed spiral, Simon’s is the mysterious Carlos.

“Don’t mention him again unless you want a broken jaw. Your point is noted.”

“Fine by me, but the warning goes both ways. Stay out of mine and Kai’s business.”

“Yeah, yeah. Come on, we got work to do.”

Shelving my conversation I need to have with Kai for later, I zone in on the task at hand with Simon and leave everything else behind as we drive off.

17

KAI

The quiet in this big ass mansion is driving me insane. Pacing around the entrance hall in the main house leaves me with nothing to do but repeat my encounter with Jules over and over in my head. Trying to dissect every word and act, and piece it back together like a puzzle, hoping it will make sense. But nothing. All my thoughts are frantic, in a thrilling way, but also with a hint of fear. Fear that we have taken it too far with that kiss, and what the fuck it would mean for my mom if this went further and she found out. But the swelling ache in my chest blocks it all out when my mind drifts to those lips on mine, the claiming intention behind it. It makes me live in hope, a dangerous hope, as I’m already putting too much weight into that moment. That Jules will be my shield in life, my protector. That he is some kind of superhero that will make everything else in my life right, while I stand in the background basking in his love and attention. Love. That’s another thing that should have me halting the breaks on this car crash waiting to happen. I’ve wanted Jules since I was a teenager. Over those years I really thought that it was love, even though his contact with us was rare, it made me feel things I’d never felt before. But I was an inexperienced teenager with a crush. It couldn’t have been love. But now, after spending all this time with him, it’s morphed into more. This searing blade that cuts deep into my soul whenever he is around me is another level of love that will destroy me. I know it will, because how could this ever possibly work? Internally, I shake my head at myself over the whirling thoughts that won’t quit, as to why am I even contemplating any of this. I don’t even know if Jules regrets that kiss, or if he just did it to shut me up.

I rest my head against the wall and zone out, focusing on the chandelier that sparkles like diamonds hanging from the ceiling. I encourage the swirls of light to take me into a trance to clear my mind into some kind of zen state, so I can just rest my overworked, Jules obsessed brain. I’m not sure how long I stand there before I hear quickened footsteps from down the hall where Dima’s office is. As I turn my head, I can’t help but smile when I see Aaron come into view. He’s a freaky fuck, but I like him.

“Hey Kai, can you take me to my apartment, please? I need to collect a couple of things. Lev said it was cool.”

That sounds perfect to me, because I need to get out of this house.

“Sure, let’s go.”

It doesn’t take long to get to Aaron’s apartment where I pull up to a stop on the street outside of the complex.

“Don’t be long, Aaron. I don’t want Lev pissed at me.”

“Kai, don’t say shit like that to me. Getting Lev pissed at you is more of an incentive as it would be hot as fuck to watch him get all angry,” Aaron says, leaning his head back onto the headrest, his eyes closed and a demonic grin on his face. This is fucking awkward, as the guy has zero social awareness and boundaries, but I’m not about to get myself fucked up in the pen, even if it does make Aaron happy.

“Go get your shit, Aaron.”

“Okay, okay. Just kidding. I won’t be long.”

Aaron gets out and slams the car door shut. I run my hands over the steering wheel, admiring the gorgeous interior. It’s a dream to be driving an expensive sports car like this, and Dima said I had access if needed. It’s a sweet ride. I tap my hands on the wheel to a beat that I make up in my head and immediately feel a little more relaxed. Which Jules must sense, because my phone pings with a text from the controlling dick.

Jules

All good?

Yep. I’m just out with Aaron.

---