Page 10 of Our Blood, Our Pain

Grow the hell up, Kai. You’re so twisted.

Shaking myself back to the reality that I just want to leave, I grab my duffel and pack some necessities: a few items of clothing, toiletries, and my passport. You never know.

Begrudgingly, I slowly walk back out to the living room, where Jules is sitting with my mom. She looks up at me and rushes over, kissing my forehead and hugging me so tightly that I find it hard to breathe.

“I’m so sorry. Please forgive me, Kai. I never should’ve hurt you like that. There’s no excuse. I just want you safe and happy and I’m scared for you.”

“It’s okay. I get it. I do. I promise you don’t have to worry. I’ll give it my all when I go with Jules. I’ll make you proud to call me your son.”

“I am proud to call you my son, Kai. I just want you to find your way again,” she says as she holds me like a precious baby. We’re both emotional as we soak up the apologies and promises. I have to make this right.

After a couple of minutes locked into this maternal embrace, we pull away and smile at one another. That hug was the full stop to my bullshit and this smile we share is a new start for us both. While today has been taxing, there is a lightness now that we have bared ourselves, and I’ve stopped hiding from the truth. I look over to Jules, who wears a small smile and gives a slight nod of the head.

“Time to go, Kai. We got a few hours on the road,” Jules says, and walks over to give my mom a quick hug before he walks out of the front door.

“Text me when you get there, Kai. And keep in touch.”

“I will. Love you, Mom.”

“I love you too.”

Walking outside, Jules grabs my bag and places it in the back of his car as I get into the passenger seat. My mom stands at the door and waves us off as we leave.

“You good?” Jules asks.

“Yeah. I’m sorry for being a dick back there,” I say as my phone chimes, alerting me to a text message. Jules chuckles.

“It’s fine, this time,” he says as I smile and pull my phone out of my jean pocket. Shit. It’s a message from Jez.

Jez

Went down to the station, and they said you’d been released. You coming over?

No. I’m in the car with my Uncle Jules. I’m leaving town. He’s taking me to work with him. Mom is over my shit.

Jez

What do you mean leaving? Fuck, man, you can’t just leave. Zac won’t allow it.

Fuck. I never thought of that. The Skins is Zac’s gang and I didn’t think it would matter if I left. It’s hardly a big time group.

He can’t force me to stay. I’ve already left. You don’t need me.

Jez

I’m supposed to be your best friend. You’ve fucked up, Kai.

I ignore that last message, along with the heavy roll of nausea in my stomach. They’ll just be upset that I didn’t talk to them, Jez is just making a big deal out of it. Right?

7

JULES

Kai remained quiet most of the journey back, and I’m having to fight with myself not to pin him by the neck and ask him what’s wrong. Ever since he received a text message just after we left his mom’s, the tension in the car has had me on edge. Not to mention how irritating it’s been to be sitting next to someone who has bounced their knee for nearly the entire journey.

We arrive back in Grinston, and it doesn’t take long for us to arrive at the Kozlov residence. Driving through the gate, I notice that most of the cars are not here, and Seb’s motorcycle is gone. Only Simon’s car is left outside the property.

“Holy shit, you live here?” Kai gasps in awe as his eyes widen like a kid in a candy shop. I pull to a stop, hop out, and grab his bags from the backseat. Kai is just standing next to his open door, taking in the beauty of this house. I’ve gotten used to it, but I remember when Dima and Lev purchased the property, how foreign living in such wealth was for me at the time. For all of us, really, because the brothers came from as little as I did.