Page 112 of Smut

“I don’t believe it. It’s something more. I’ve seen the way he looks at you. I’ve seen the way you look at him. You guys aren’t just friends.”

I feel my cheeks flame and hope the low lights of the patio hide it well. “I don’t know what else to tell you.”

But I do.

I could tell her the truth.

I’m falling in love with him.

CHAPTER 19

Blake

“You were in the bathroom for a pretty long time. Food poisoning?” Heath asks all too innocently.

We’re walking back from the bar to my place. I really wanted Amanda to come home with me, but Heath is staying over since he got a new apartment in Langford, out of the way, and getting a cab was proving to be way too difficult tonight. God I wish they had bloody Uber in this city.

I don’t say anything to Heath. I assumed he was preoccupied with Rio because it was pretty obvious why Amanda and I disappeared for a while. And honestly, I don’t want to get into a discussion about her. She’s way too personal of a topic now. I want to keep her as close to my heart as possible.

“Dude,” Heath goes on. “I have to commend you. She’s pretty fucking hot. I’m amazed you’ve been able to keep it in your pants all this time.”

I suck on my teeth loudly and his eyes flit to mine. “Have you been banging her this whole time?” he asks.

“We’re just friends,” I try and explain, even though I know we’re anything but. Even though having sex in a public restroom is nothing new to me and by no means romantic, that meant something. That said something about us. How badly we want each other and need each other. It nearly killed me to be at the same table as her and pretend like she wasn’t more to me than a casual fuck. She’s not that at all, and I don’t know how to process it other than to screw her silly.

Maybe that’s been our problem. Every time some inkling of a feeling pops up, we jump right into bed with each other and fuck it out of our systems.

But you can’t ignore something like that forever.

I fear something like that only comes along once in a lifetime.

I was hoping the fresh air from the harbor on the walk home would help, but Heath’s yapping mouth is muddling up my thoughts.

“Just friends,” he muses. “A fuckgirl. Have you had any other fuckgirls while you’ve been giving her the D?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It totally does. You’ve been fucking the same girl. And only that girl. On more than one occasion. Right?”

“So?” I shove my hands into my pockets and shrug my shoulders up. There’s a chill in the air tonight which is odd for summer. Maybe it’s because my nerves have me on edge and my gut is churning like I’ve got razor blades in there.

“So,” he goes on, obviously not yet done with this, “you haven’t done that once since you and Rachel broke up. I seriously thought you’d fuck the entire city before your dick fell off or something.”

“You should talk.”

“I should,” he says. “But I’m not trying to run away from my problems. I have no problems.”

I stop and stare at him. “What does that mean?”

“Other than my life is sweet?” he says, tucking his hair behind his ears. “It means that ever since Rachel cheated on you, you’ve been having your revenge on her by sleeping with everything that moves. You’ve been a total dick to them all because Rachel was a dick to you. And you’ve tried to prove to yourself, over and over again, that you don’t need relationships or commitment, or even love to have fun.”

My mouth drops open. Is Heath seriously lecturing me about love?

“Don’t pretend I’m not right, dude,” Heath says, kicking at a stone. “We all get screwed over at some point in our lives. It’s part of the great circle. The circle of life. You remember The Lion King, right? Simba’s father dies, so he has to avenge his death by killing Scar, and he becomes so focused on that he nearly messes things up with Nala, the one true thing that will save him more than revenge ever will.”

He continues walking down the street and I can only blink at him for a moment before catching up. “Are you sure that’s how The Lion King went?”

“You know it was based on Hamlet, right?”

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