Page 120 of Smut

I want to stay out here too, and yeah, some dirty sex in our fancy duds would be pretty hot. In fact, now I regret coming here at all.

I didn’t really mean to use Blake in the “hey look, I’m with a hot piece of ass right now” way, but at the same time I didn’t think he, of all people, would mind being arm candy. When I got the email from Sarah, she sounded so sweet and happy, and she’d always been that one friend who I should have kept in touch with more. Besides, she had come to every single party that Alan and I had, so it was only fair I attend her engagement party.

But my pettiness and competitiveness came out to play, as usual. Once she told me Alan was coming with his girlfriend, I knew I couldn’t go alone. I’ve mentioned that I’m petty, right?

Luckily Blake’s been a good sport, and now that we’re actually together as a couple—as of a few minutes ago—at least I know that nothing of who I am will be a lie.

Except for the writing part. As much as I wish I could tell them that I’m a big deal now in some circles (they don’t have to know which circles), I know I can’t. The word would spread so fast and both our lives would come crashing down. It wouldn’t be worth it just to have them be impressed for a moment.

“Here we go,” I say to Blake, raising our joined hands in the air in a show of bravery before I take a deep breath and we head inside.

“Amanda, you came!’ Sarah says to me almost immediately, running up from the crowd.

She’s looking stunning as usual and she pulls me into a hug. Wow, she’s drunk, too.

She pulls away, holding me by the shoulders, and looks me up and down. “You look fantastic. Have you lost weight? My god, your boobs.” She looks over my shoulder at Blake and raises her brows, seemingly impressed. She leans in and whispers in my ear, “This is your new man? Damn, he is cute. Where on earth did you find him?”

“Hi, I’m Blake,” Blake says, offering his hand, overhearing it all.

She shakes it, smiling coyly at him. “And he’s English, too.”

“Yes, he is,” he says. “You must be Sarah.”

“I am.” She looks around her. “My fiancé David is somewhere, I’ll have to track him down. I’ll come find you in a bit,” she says before she hurries away into the crowd. Many people are now stealing glances my way. I recognize most of them, offering them a timid smile but nothing more. I’m not sure if I should be the stand-offish, shy girl they knew me as before or go out of my way to be extra nice, to make up for the whole New Year’s Eve fiasco.

Blake places his hand around my waist and pulls me to him. “Remember,” he says in my ear, shivers running down my spine, “they aren’t important. They don’t matter. Let’s just do our thing and go.”

I nod, licking my lips. He’s right. These people never liked me, not the real me. Just the me they thought was acceptable once Alan was with me.

Speaking of Alan.

Oh shit.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

He’s walking toward me, wearing a grey suit, no tie, a beer grasped casually in his hands. I’m not sure how it’s possible, but he seems to have extra swagger.

Where the hell did he get the swagger from?

I paste a stupid fake smile on my face while the rest of me stiffens.

Blake notices. “This the cold fish?” he whispers at my back.

I don’t say anything. My mouth is locked in this ridiculous grin.

“Amanda,” Alan says smoothly, stopping a few feet away. “What a surprise. Really didn’t think you’d show after what happened last time.”

“Well, nothing says engagement quite like my vomit,” I tell him.

Blake bursts out laughing behind me, while Alan seems stunned. Actually, I’m stunned. I can’t believe I said that though I guess acting poised is a bit of a stretch for me.

“Ha,” Alan says slowly and now he’s wearing the fake smile. “You still have that way about you, don’t you?”

“Hi, I’m Blake,” Blake says, offering his hand and what I assume will be his phrase of the night.

Alan eyes his hand, eyes me, eyes Blake. Then the fake smile is back and they shake hands.

“Alan,” he says. “I assume Amanda has told you all about me.”

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