Page 48 of Jump on Three

Ivan’s sharp inhale drew me out of my head and back to room three. I’d said that thought out loud, the realization that the boulder on my chest wasn’t dread but a crush on the last boy I should have had any kind of feelings for.

Okay, maybe it was dread too.

Ivan took a step back, dropping his hold on me. His brow furrowed over dark, stormy eyes, which were no longer on me but on some far-off point, moving like he was finally seeing something.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

His gaze dropped to mine. I had no trouble reading the unhappiness broiling behind it.

“You will never move past something that no longer exists, will you?” he asked like he already knew the answer.

“I would never hurt my sister.”

He nodded. “I know.” Then he dragged a rough hand through his shaggy hair. “It’s why I like you. The irony of it all.”

He took another step back.

If my feet hadn’t been leaden, I would have gone to him, leaned into his warmth again. The tundra between us was almost unbearable.

“I don’t know what to say,” I uttered.

He lifted a shoulder. “There is nothing to say, Evelyn. I wouldn’t take back my friendship with Delilah even if I could. I thought I’d been careful with her feelings, but I hadn’t been careful enough, which I regret.” He heaved a long sigh. “I wasn’t going to ask you for more than you can give.”

“I don’t know what I can give…”

“But you know you can’t give me anything.”

I rubbed the aching hollowness in my chest. “This shouldn’t matter. We don’t know each other.”

He scoffed, and it wasn’t the nicest sound. “Just because you haven’t been paying attention to me doesn’t mean I haven’t paid attention to you.”

He was right, of course. Beyond Delilah’s crush and his subsequent rejection, Ivan had not been on my radar. He’d had to put himself in my path for me to notice him, and I had no idea how long he’d been noticing me.

His mouth curved into a smile that wasn’t at all happy. “It’s all right. I understand now. I’ll leave you alone.”

“You don’t have to leave me alone, it’s just—”

“No.” He shook his head. “No, I have to leave you alone.”

Before I could come up with a reason as to why that made my bones feel too brittle to keep me upright, Ivan unlocked the door and disappeared into the quiet library.

I was alone again, wrapping my trembling arms around my middle. I’d done the right thing. So why did it feel so terrible?

I knew why. I’d wanted his lips on mine. I’d wanted more than that. I could tell myself this was black and white, but Ivan had introduced a shade of gray so pretty I could have wrapped myself in it.

And I’d ruined it. Perhaps…perhaps I’d even hurt him.

Oh dear.

What was I going to do now?

I rubbed the heels of my hands into my eyes, huffing a soft laugh.

In Ivan’s swift, final exit from room three, he’d left a bigger mess behind than ever before.

Me.

Chapter Sixteen

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