Page 49 of High Seas

I nodded. “I did.”

His hands squeezed my hips as his green eyes pierced mine. The tricorn hat he wore shielded his eyes from the sun and cast a delicious shadow over his cheekbones. “Does part of you feel that way still?”

“No,” I breathed.

“Not even a little? Somewhere deep inside?”

I shook my head. “I could never hate you, Enoch.”

“Why?”

“How can you hate something you love?”

He swallowed thickly, the apple in his throat bobbing up and down. “Unfortunately, I know that it’s entirely possible to hate what you love. It’s a tormenting feeling, like having two minds, or like your body is constantly being pulled apart by separate ropes.”

“Asa?” I guessed.

He pinched his lips together and nodded. “Terah and I have always been closer, but when she helped my brother in his attempt to hurt you… a rift formed between us, too.”

“I don’t want to be the cause of a rift.”

“You are not the cause of it. She’s become someone else. Someone I’m not sure I like. Someone like Asa.”

That was my fear. That Enoch would also change. That he’d become what he was in my time before I left. Arrogant. Vengeful. Dangerously charismatic. And without a single regard for the value of human life.

“Do you fear I’ll become the monster you hated?” he asked. “I see the question in your eyes.”

“I’m terrified.”

“Because you love me?”

“I’ll love you regardless of what you are, but I can’t be anything other than what I am. Enoch, I hate the vampires you sire,” I admitted. “They’re different in my time. And I know deep down, I will always fight against them.”

“Even if it means fighting me,” he finished.

“I don’t want it to come to that.” I stared at the sun glistening off the writhing sea. “I think Victor’s attack broke something in you. Even though you seem okay now, I know it’s still there, just waiting under the surface. In the battle to come, I don’t want you to lose yourself,” I told him, remembering Maru’s words. “Nothing is worth that sacrifice.”

“I don’t want to lose you,” he confessed, threading his fingers into my hair and pulling my head to his chest. His chin rested on me, his warm breath fanning the fine hairs that frizzed where my hair parted.

“I don’t want to be lost again.”

* * *

As the day faded, the closer we got to Nassau, the choppier the water became. The winds gusted over the water and ship, whipping hair and tearing hats from the sailors’ heads. Apparently, Titus was getting in the sailors’ way, so he took the hint and found me in Enoch’s quarters.

“How do you think you’ll feel when we find Abram?” he asked bluntly.

“Like punching him in the throat.”

Titus nodded in agreement. “That’s fair.”

“What about you?” I asked.

“Like ramming a sword through his stomach and throwing him off a tall building.” Eve whistled, raising her brows. “He deserves worse. Terah’s been scarce lately,” Titus observed. “She’s laying low, but I don’t know if it’s her idea or Enoch’s. The sailors all know what she did to that man – William, and they’re eager to leave the ship.”

“Do you think they’ll sail with him again?”

He shrugged. “Depends on whether Terah is on board or not. If it’s just Enoch, they might. But if she steps one foot on board, he can forget it.”