Page 42 of Defending Casey

“We can talk,” those words came out easily, “but I don’t want or need your comments about Hale.”

“I can’t help it, Casey. I need to warn you. You need to listen to me.”

“I need-” She shook her head and stopped short. “When you offered to help us build out the house, I listened to you. You renovated your own place.” She kept her gaze off of him as she worked, letting her muscle memory guide her hand. “When you came to my dad suggesting he offer to buy the feed store from your uncle, I listened to you. It was a good price. A great opportunity. And really, the best thing that’s happened to our family in a long time.”

He leaned on the stall’s wall and smiled at her. “I did it for that reason, Casey. I did it for you.”

Her hand faltered and Powder side-stepped and pushed her back against the wooden wall. Gathering herself she gave the horse a pat with her bare hand and leaned against his side with her weight to move him back.

The Roan gave way, but it felt like he was just doing it to humor her. Much like her father did from time to time.

She started back up with the same long swipes of the brush and a shudder passed through the gelding’s body and he lifted his front leg to paw at the ground. Casey couldn’t help the smile that touched her lips. Powder had been with their family longer than Nora had been alive and she swore he could understand more than just the energy around him, but sometimes she wondered if he could hear her thoughts.

Then again, if he could, he might not have been so complacent, so she was glad for whatever it was that kept the gelding calm and quiet.

“I want you to understand,” she began to speak slowly, trying to review her words in her head at least once before saying them out loud, “that you mean a lot to us. When I was pregnant you helped me at school. If you hadn’t driven me during the Spring, I wouldn’t have been able to go to school without making my dad take time off from work to drive me.”

He grinned and she swore that he relaxed at the memory. “You couldn’t fit behind the wheel of your car. And the school didn’t have a bus line that came all the way out here, so you would have been stuck.”

She nodded. “Back then you had a Honda.”

“A Toyota,” he corrected, “and I got my ass beat for buying a foreign car.”

“Well, I was grateful that you had a car that I could fit in. If I’d tried to get up into a truck, I probably would have fallen on my butt.”

“I wouldn’t have let you.”

Lost in the memories, she leaned into the wide neck of the horse and breathed in his scent. One of her favorites.

“Back then, I felt like I was never going to feel whole again. It took months and months, but it wasn’t until people in school stopped staring. Even though I’m sure they kept talking about me behind my back that’s where it stayed.

“People didn’t do it right in front of my face. And you were part of that, Brian. You treated me like you’d always treated me, and you sat next to me at lunch. All of that meant the world to me. Then and now.”

She smiled and shook her head at herself before she looked at him.

“I don’t think I would have stayed in school as long as I did without you.” She saw the strange melancholy look on his face. “You weren’t just my friend, Brian. You were my hero.”

When she looked at him, she saw the same person he’d been then. Younger. Happier.

Hanging the brush up on a hook she ducked under the chain and moved to stand beside him.

“I’m sorry, Brian.”

He looked a little confused, but thoughtful. “Sorry? For what?”

“For leaning on you as much as I did. I feel like I should have stood on my own more. I should have held myself apart from you way back then. When I think of all the time you spent with me, especially when I started to waddle more than walk, you could have been spending your time doing things that you enjoyed. Clubs, stuff with your friends, you should have had that time to have fun.”

“Casey, stop.”

She shook her head. “No, Brian. I know that back then I latched onto the help you offered. I spent my time either depressed or scared about the future. You were a godsend, but I never should have let you spend all of your time helping me.”

“Casey, I-”

“I should have thought about it earlier. I should have thought about it then. I should have-”

He took her by the shoulders and gave her a little shake. “Stop it, Casey! Just stop!”

The look in his eyes was something she’d never seen before. Somehow, until that moment, she’d always seen him as her friend or Hale’s cousin. But the man looking back at her bore no resemblance to either of those.

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