Page 23 of Loving Graystoke's Heir

“There was something going on inside of me that said it wasn’t just in my head. When I was angry, which happened more and more, I could feel anger in my blood. I felt it like an undertow in the ocean, pulling me in deeper and faster than I could go.

“I was losing myself and I was sure my grip on reality. The one absolute that I held onto was my need,” he felt that need throbbing in his chest at that moment and had to gasp in a breath to ease the ache so he could speak, “my need to ensure your safety, Tam. I left because I felt the need to possess you inside of me, and I couldn’t risk your life for the needs I felt inside of me.”

He felt her still, turn into living stone on his lap.

His beast within found the moment quite the amusing distraction, enjoying the warmth of their mate leaning against them.

Mate.

That’s the subject he wasn’t prepared to discuss, but knew at that moment, with her tucked gently against his body, that it would destroy him to let her go without trying to make her understand why they should be apart.

He fought down the roar of anguish from his beast, and pushed away the wild and frantic anger that arose when he made his position clear.

“This side of me, Tam. The wild side of my nature wants you with us. He tells me that you are my mate. The one woman who could help me tame the beast inside me.” He felt her shift against him, and one glance told him that her mind was furiously working through what he was telling her. He knew that her heart would war with her mind as she did.

His Tamsin had more heart than anyone else he knew. As gentle as she was loyal, she would try to save him, and he wasn’t going to drag her into danger just because the gorilla had decided they should have her.

He wasn’t going to let that side of himself dictate anything in regard to Tamsin.

No, if he could keep her away from the danger riding under the surface of his human form, he would do it.

“Your mate.” She said the words once and then again, the second time a bit louder. And he could see the way her lips trembled at the thought. If only he could hear the thoughts in her head. “That all sounds a little…”

He waited for her to find the word she was searching for. If he tried to help, his contributions would be limited to words like crazy, odd, ridiculous, or the very best of the worst ‘insane.’

“Antiquated. Like the whole concept comes from the time when your great-grandfather first arrived in Africa. Would that mean that I would stay with you, here?”

It all seemed so simple when she said it.

That if he made her his mate, he’d get to keep her near.

But at that moment, the thought not only brought him joy and hope, Donal felt the rise of need within his soul. The need to possess her body. To touch, to kiss, and bury himself so deep inside of her that it would take hours to work himself free of her scent and the feeling of her skin against his.

To hear his beast tell it, he’d have to bite her, break her skin with his sharpened teeth at the height of her pleasure. He’d have to mark her for the rest of her life with his mouth, scar her flesh.

He couldn’t demand that of her, he couldn’t even ask her to suffer that for him.

All of her life, she had enjoyed the kind of freedom that his family’s protection could provide. She should go on enjoying what he could provide for her.

“I can’t,” he shook his head and turned his gaze away from her face, “I can’t let you do that, Tamsin, no matter how much I might want it.”

No matter how much he needed her.

We need her.

“Can you understand that, Tam? Can you see why it’s better for you?”

The tense set of her features eased and that should have reassured him, but it didn’t. He didn’t expect her to be happy with the idea, but he hoped she understood that what he was doing was for her own good.

When she nodded, the movement was so short and stilted he almost missed it.

She started to get to her feet but stumbled. He reached out a hand to steady her only to have Tamsin slap it away.

“Don’t.”

“Tam,” he tried to ease the look of pain on her face, “please, see reason. I-”

“Don’t you dare!” She stumbled back from him, her legs as rigid as her backbone. “Don’t you dare try to tell me that you’re doing it for me. That this,” she gestured at the space between them, “is what you want, because it’s not what I want, Donal. I want this thing between us. I’ve wanted it for years, but if you can’t see that what you’re doing is driving a wedge between us, then I don’t think I can stop you or change your mind.

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