Page 107 of His Old Lady

Chapter 38

Faye

Four days after Curleykilled Cal Williams, Faye sat in the backyard, on the deck swing, wrapped in a blanket. She held Curley's hand against her stomach, not knowing how to explain to him that she had no idea how she would go on with her life.

How would she go back to work, pretending that she got caught in someone else's sick nightmare or how she was responsible for Cal's death? Even though Curley had shot him to protect her, it could have easily been the bullet from the pistol she'd taken.

She'd pulled the trigger.

Everything had happened faster than her mind could accept. Even now, days later, it all seemed like something that had happened to someone else, not her.

"I don't know what is wrong with me." She sighed heavily. "I swear, I'm okay. You don't have to hang around the house with me if you have somewhere else you'd rather be, or the club needs you. I'll be fine."

"I know you're fine." He squeezed her hand. "I want to be here."

"What about Promise?"

"What about it?"

She leaned her head on his shoulder. "You hired me to work, and I've been moping around the house for four days."

"The job can wait."

She rubbed her cheek against him. "I'm sorry for being so much trouble."

He kissed the top of her head. This was the most they'd talked since before he'd left to go on a run with Tarkio. She had a lot to say and ask but had no desire to hear the answers.

"It's like I have so many feelings inside of me that want to come out when I thought I would never see you again, and I watched you ride away from the lounge. At that moment, everything was crystal clear in my mind. I wanted nothing more than to tell you everything. Now, I don't know...I can't find the words." She lifted her head and looked at him. "I don't think you have a clue how much I love you."

Curley looked out at the field. She'd probably upset him. They promised to be open and honest when he finally decided to honor their relationship, and she was letting him down.

"I know," he murmured.

"Do you?"

"I felt it when I sobered up long enough to realize my cock was inside you, and I'd fucked a seventeen-year-old. I could see what it meant to you. It made me angry that I would ruin you before your life had even started." Behind his beard, his Adam's apple moved.

"I was almost eighteen."

"It doesn't matter," he said gruffly.

"You do know that girls can get married at sixteen years of age in Montana, don't you? I wasn't jail bait. I was never like other girls my age. My life...I grew up fast. I lost everyone and started over with Grandma June, but I was taking care of her by the time I hit high school." She brought his hand up and kissed his knuckles. "My feelings for you were grown up and mature, even if my choices were made on emotions."

He rubbed his lips together and continued gazing away from her. She rolled his ring around on his finger.

"I regret so much with you." Her chest fluttered, hoping for relief. "I'm sad about all the years we've wasted. I wish I could've told you how I was feeling, and—"

"Don't."

She snapped her head up, confused about why he wouldn't want to hear what she had to say.

He pulled his hand away from her and stood, walking out into the field. She stayed on the bench swing as he lit a cigarette and kept his back to her. Walking away when she needed him was such an old Curley thing to do. She thought they were past that.

He'd been the perfect man to her the last several days. Holding her as nightmares ruined her sleep. Making sure she ate and kept hydrated. He excused her from working at Promise and even stayed home with her, letting Tarkio members run the bar.

Most of all, he'd ignored club business for her.

She understood what the bikers meant to him. What wearing the patch meant to him. She'd seen the same loyalty toward Tarkio Motorcycle Club in Uncle Walker.

---