"I find it strange that you're here offering to help me deal with the fire," she said.
He worked the shampoo through her hair, using the tips of his fingertips. She closed her eyes as her neck muscles let go, and her head hung behind her. For someone who had strong, rough hands, the massage eased the tension out of her neck and head.
"If you're asking if the fire has anything to do with Tarkio or me, I don't think so."
"What about Uncle Walker?"
"That's a stretch." He gripped her shoulders, turned her, and then worked the soap out of her hair under the stream of water. "If I had one suspect, it would be your old boss."
She jerked her head straight and opened her eyes. Instantly her vision blurred, and her eyes burned. Tipping back again, she let the water run over her face and wash the suds from her eyes until she could open her eyelids again without any pain.
"Why would you think Cal is behind the fire?"
"Why has he been stopping by your house?"
Okay, he had a point. She wanted to know the same thing.
"I don't know. I figured it was to ask me to come back to work for him, or maybe he wanted to ask me out on a date, or maybe he wants to apologize for being an asshole. His wife divorced him, and he's...well, enjoying his newfound freedom a little too much when it comes to me."
He grunted. "You never said anything."
"I didn't have to, because you're not responsible for me."
"Bullshit," he muttered. "I could've stopped him."
She turned away from him and finished her shower, aware of him watching her. His change of attitude toward her left her off-balance. Half thrilled and half scared as if she was setting herself up for heartbreak. She'd gotten used to his rejections and found herself waiting for him to change his mind about staying with her.
"Curley?" She kept her back to him. "I don't want to belong to you anymore."
The tears she refused to let fall vibrated in her chest. She'd spoken the words to him many times over the years, but it was always in anger and frustration. Her hope was always that he'd confess to loving her, but she never was able to get the right response from him.
Now when she spoke the words, it was sadness that came out.
Having him again only to never really belong to him was her reality, and the truth sucked. She wasn't strong enough to believe she'd survive. The older she got, the more she had to face that she'd wasted a lifetime loving him.
The water grew cooler. She glanced behind her, expecting to face pure anger coming from Curley, and found herself alone in the shower.