Page 59 of Elling & Jackie

Chapter 22

Coming out of the bathroom, Elling paused. The sight of Jacqueline sprawled naked in the bed grabbed him by the balls. She beautified his life in ways he'd never expected.

He'd had lots of women in the past. Never had he wanted to crawl back in bed with any of them, simply to hold a woman close to him.

Knowing he lost her before he could even claim her, he walked to the bed and laid beside her. She snuggled against him, twining her leg over his hip and her arm around his back. Without opening her eyes, she kissed his chest.

He held her, staring at the hotel wall. It was better to let her have tonight with him. The light in her eyes when she'd asked him to keep their relationship a secret broke his heart. He'd played what would happen when her family contacted her and told her about the crackdown on the Brikken Motorcycle Club, and there was no positive outcome.

Even if he had told her the truth that Slag hadn't been involved, he would've lost her. She was a proud woman. Selfishly, he wanted to give her one more time before she ended up hating him.

It wouldn't matter if Slag was innocent in the recent takedown of her family's MC by the Feds. She would rally around her family, and if he was honest with himself, that's what he'd want her to do. He would do the same if his parents were still alive or his club faced hard time.

Removing all the roadblocks wouldn't pave the way for him to continue seeing her. He wore the Slag colors, and she had the Brikken brand tattooed on her wrist. They were enemies before the first words were exchanged.

He closed his eyes against the pain of leaving her.

Admitting he stayed tonight, not to shelter her from tomorrow, but because he couldn't walk away yet, brought a realization he thought he was immune to.

He was falling in love with a woman he couldn't have, and it hurt as much as losing his parents.

To love and lose her, knowing she's alive and would move on with her life, was hell. To have another man someday get what he wanted was a pain he would never get rid of.

He wanted to be that man. He wanted her in his life. He wanted to give her everything she wanted.

She stirred, rubbing his back, and stretched her neck to bury her face underneath his beard. He held her tighter and fought the urge to wake her up to tell her he'd lied.

There would be no more tomorrow for them. No secrets. No excitement. No future.

He stroked her head, letting his fingers smooth her hair, memorizing the texture, the length, the softness. The heat of her body entangled around him had to keep him warm when he was alone and cold.

His cock pulsed to life again. He inhaled deeply, not moving. Already, his body wanted her again.

But, he wouldn't do that to her. He'd already pushed himself into her life more than he had a right to.

He couldn't remove the Slag patch for her. He wouldn't. His father told tales of Slag and impressed on him the importance of fighting the good fight. When life beats him down, there was always the club. Those stories and dreams, coming from his father, were his lifeline throughout the years. As an adult, he became the man he remembered his father being.

To not be a Slag member was death.

Just like he couldn't ask Jacqueline to walk away from her family.

He only had a few more hours with her. And, every second hurt.

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