Page 72 of Tiny Fractures

“Or remember that one time at Shane’s party when some asshole spilled his drink all over you and you told us you were going to take a quick shower and some random chick asked if she could join you?” Steve chimes in. “And then she actually did!”

“Seriously, guys, drop it! Please.” I’m worried that all of this will be too much for Cat and scare her away, especially given that, according to Vada, Cat doesn’t have much experience at all. I don’t want her to think I’m only with her for this one thing, because that’s as far from reality as can be. “And also, can you stop filming for a fucking second?” I beg Zack with a nod at his damn camera.

He smirks at me. “I’ll never stop filming, and I don’t really feel like dropping this subject.” Zack leans back in his chair.

“Well, then maybe we should start talking about your sex life, too,” Shane says. “Or rather the lack thereof.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Zack asks, his brow creasing now. “I’m with Summer.”

“Yeah,” Shane says, “but remember when you and Summer first got together and you were whining one night about how nervous you were about your first time with her, and how Ran had to talk you through how to give a girl a manual orgasm?”

Zack turns beet red. “Hey, what the fuck, man? I talked to you guys in confidence about that shit.”

“Then maybe we should honor Ran’s request and change the subject.” Shane shrugs and grins at me.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Vada says, and only then do I realize she has tears in her eyes. She’s holding her side because she’s laughing so hard she can barely breathe. “Ran really had to tell you how to get a girl off manually?”

“Oh, shut the fuck up,” Zack huffs, crossing his arms in front of his chest, looking embarrassed and pissed off.

“But, like, really though?” Vada wheezes. “What, did you have trouble finding it?” she adds, barely able to get the words out before dissolving into another fit of laughter.

“You know what…” Zack starts but doesn’t finish his sentence when Vada’s laugh turns into a shriek and she leans onto Steve, who is very much enjoying this turn in the conversation.

“I need to use the bathroom,” Zack says, anger tingeing his voice. He stands abruptly before striding away.

“Hope you find it,” Vada calls after her twin brother with a wicked laugh.

Our breakfast comes. We eat and chat about nothing in particular. Once again, I’m content with my company and enjoy having Cat next to me. I can’t help but glance at her again and again; I’m distracted by her presence and drawn to her like a magnet.

Saturday, June 26th

Cat

Ronan and I spend almost every day together over the next couple of weeks, and each minute I spend with him makes me yearn for even more. We spend our time together hanging out with our friends, though we both crave alone time, which is hard to come by. Although my mom tries to work from home a few times a week, her obligations to her patients frequently require her to leave the house, saddling me with the responsibility of looking after my siblings. Ronan is nothing but patient and understanding, and he spends time with me and my siblings whenever he can. I actually think my sister, Samantha, has developed a crush on Ronan because she gets almost as excited to see him as I do.

Ronan and I spend time at his house only twice, each time making a pit stop for him to change into his work clothes before we head back to my place to spend a few hours together before he heads into work. I don’t think much of it, to be honest. I don’t really care where we spend our time; I just enjoy being with him.

Whenever Ronan works, I try to make it to Murphy’s for a few hours, and although we don’t get to interact a whole lot, it’s still comforting—and sexy as hell—to watch him. I notice how frequently Ronan gets hit on while he works. He politely rejects any advances, and I relish that he makes a regular point to steal a kiss from me. And at the end of the day, I’m the one who gets to be with him.

I’ve also been hitting the gym with Ronan, the guys, and Vada, which, often ends up with Vada and Shane scolding Ronan and me for getting distracted by each other. What can I say? Ronan is nice to look at, and it doesn’t help things when he’s pumped and sweaty.

Whenever I’m with Ronan—and even when I’m not—my mind tends to wander, and I find myself thinking about what it would be like to be with him all the way. Whenever he touches me, my body immediately responds and I long for more. But we never get too far.

What happened with Adam still haunts me, casting a shadow over my new relationship, and I hesitate to open up completely, to let down my guard, to let Ronan in all the way. And the other reason why we never get further than a hot ten-minute make-out session is that we’re never alone long enough to explore each other. We’ll get interrupted by a phone call, or someone will walk in on us. Vada, in particular, has a real thing for barging in on Ronan and me, usually just as things are getting hot and heavy. And though Ronan never, ever pushes me or makes me feel bad, I can tell he’s frustrated by the constant interruptions. I know it’s not about sex for him but our ability to be together, alone, which is further impeded by Ronan’s overfull schedule. He’s been working a lot, has been working out with Shane almost daily, and on top of that, conditioning for hockey started a few days ago. And I get the impression there’s something else going on. I sometimes catch him pensively staring into nothingness, and he startles when I approach. But whenever I mean to ask him about it, he distracts me with a kiss or a joke.

“Here are your cleats, Kitty,” my mom says as she walks into my room. I’ve been packing for the last thirty minutes because Vada, Tori, and I are heading to Buffalo tomorrow for five days for training camp for our varsity softball team. It’s apparently something our coach does every year, as Vada told me, and now I’m getting ready to leave for the second time this summer. “Do you need anything else?” my mom asks as she hands me my cleats.

I pack them into my gym bag along with my bat and three fresh uniforms. “No, I think I’m good,” I say, my hands on my hips as I contemplate what else I need.

“Okay, then I’m going to take Sam and Benny shopping with me. I promised them ice cream after, so we won’t be back for a while,” she says and turns to leave, but stops abruptly and turns back to me. “When is Ronan coming over?”

I smile at my mom’s mention of his name. “He should be here in a few minutes,” I say, grinning from ear to ear as excitement spreads through my body.

“Well, then you better finish packing so you can spend some quality alone time with your boyfriend.”

She’s right. I finish packing the rest of my stuff while my mom gets my siblings, herds them into the car, and leaves.

There’s a knock on the front door just a few minutes later, and I giddily bound down the stairs, taking two at once, and yank the door open, feeling breathless.

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