Page 63 of Tiny Fractures

“Where are you going?” she asks.

“To the bathroom,” I say quickly, and bolt into the small guest bathroom where I barely get the toilet lid up in time to drop to my knees, clutch the cool porcelain bowl, and purge what alcohol remains in my stomach.

“Are you going to make it?” I hear Shane chuckling as he stands in the door to the bathroom a few minutes later.

I manage to get everything out of my stomach but feel drained and fucking exhausted. I rest my head on my forearms draped over the toilet with my eyes shut, seriously just trying to get my bearings.

“Probably,” I groan, trying to gather the strength and energy to stand and go back to the living room, where I have every intention of passing out on the sofa. Fuck, I might just pass out right here on the bathroom floor.

“Come on, let’s get some food in you,” Shane says with a chuckle, and crouches next to me to help me up. “I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen you this fucked up.”

“Been a minute,” I agree, and let Shane guide me out of the bathroom. “Hey, why the fuck did you tell Tori about me falling for Cat?”

“Fuck,” he mutters. “Sorry, man, she was…”

“Using her hot female powers on you?”

“You could say that,” he says with a chuckle.

“You need to stop thinking with your dick,” I say, and fall back onto the sofa. I tip to the side while I kick off my shoes before pulling my feet up on the couch, ready to pass out.

“That’s hard to do when I’m with her.”

“No shit,” I mutter. I can barely keep my eyes open.

He grabs my hand and pulls me into a sitting position. “Sit up, man. No sleep yet! You need food or you’re going to have a hell of a hangover in the morning.”

“I have a feeling that will be the case regardless,” I say, regretting my earlier lack of judgment. I knew this would end badly, and, voilà, here I am, hating life. “So, what?” I say taking the tacos out of the paper bag Shane hands me. “You just tell Tori all my intimate secrets while you’re on top of her?”

“After,” Shane says with a chuckle. “I’m pretty sure I told her all your intimate secrets after I was on top of her.”

“TMI, dude,” I say with a chuckle, and take a bite of my food. It immediately settles my stomach. “Fuck, okay, I needed this.”

“Told you,” he says, biting into a giant burrito. “Sorry for divulging your feelings for Cat to Tori,” he adds after a few minutes of silence during which I manage to scarf down two chicken tacos.

“It’s all good,” I say, my mouth full. “I should have known that whatever I tell you, you’d obviously share with Tori. She’s like an extension of you.”

He smiles and nods. “Yeah, she kind of is,” he says with an admiring glance toward Tori, who’s bustling about the kitchen, still trying to clean up the mess. “Babe, stop. Come sit with us,” he calls to her.

“Be there in a sec,” Tori calls back, and continues to wipe down the marble kitchen counter.

“Just, Shane, please don’t ever tell her about my mom,” I say intently, and he frowns at me. I know how strongly he feels about this whole thing; anytime he gets wind of another incident, he lays into me about finally telling someone. But he just doesn’t fucking understand—doesn’t understand that I just can’t. “Please,” I say again.

“I got you,” he finally says, equally as intense. “I haven’t said a damn thing to anyone, but—”

“Don’t start,” I warn him, my jaw tight. I know I don’t need to say anything else; my body language and facial expression adequately convey that I need him to keep this one thing absolutely between him and me.

“Fine,” he relents through gritted teeth. “Just remember that I have your back. Always.”

“I know that,” I nod, and crumple the paper bag in my hands before standing up and discarding it in the trash. “Thanks for the food, Shay. I’m going to bed,” I inform Shane and Tori, who passes me to sit with Shane.

“’Kay,” Shane says.

“See you in the morning,” Tori says sweetly. “Dream of Cat,” she adds with a giggle.

I shake my head and roll my eyes at her and Shane, then disappear into the first guestroom to the right of the hallway. I climb into bed without bothering to undress and pass out seconds later.

Friday, June 11th

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