Page 41 of Tiny Fractures

My tears burn hot as they stream quietly down my face. I haven’t talked about what happened since leaving North Carolina, except with my friend Julie, who witnessed the whole thing and its aftermath. But I don’t care what Julie says—the events that unfolded were my fault. How could they not be? My ex, Adam, didn’t ask much of me, honestly. Especially considering how I acted around him when I was drunk, then shut him down each time he tried to do what I was so very obviously hinting at, according to him and a lot of other people. It’s no surprise things took the turn they did. I’m still so ashamed, and I swore to myself I’d never again be that girl—the girl who would get drunk, lead a boy on, then ruin his life forever.

I notice the black dog before I notice who’s walking behind it. Out of the corner of my eye I see movement and turn my head to spot Onyx prancing along the sidewalk. A short distance behind her is Ronan. He’s wearing a white, hooded thermal and jeans that sit low on his hips. His head is lowered, his right hand in his pocket, and he seems lost in a world of his own, not taking his eyes off the sidewalk in front of him. I don’t know if Onyx can smell me or otherwise senses my presence, but her tail wags happily. She props up her ears only for a second before she veers off the sidewalk and runs toward me at full throttle.

Ronan’s head snaps up and he sprints after his dog. “Jesus, Onyx, get back here.”

Onyx reaches me and jumps, her front paws on my shoulders as she excitedly sniffs my face with her wet nose. I pet her, laughing, when Ronan makes his way up the four steps to my front door and grabs Onyx by the collar, yanking her off me.

“I’m so, so sorry,” he pants breathlessly. “She usually doesn’t… Cat?” His lips turn into a smile as his eyes fill with comprehension. “I had no idea this is where you live.”

“Yep. Welcome to my humble abode.” I smile, still petting Onyx as she strains against Ronan’s hold on her collar and licks my arm. Luckily Onyx’s intense greeting erased any signs of my crying a few minutes ago.

“I swear, Onyx is usually really good when she’s off the leash. She’s actually pretty shy around people… well, with the exception of you, apparently. I don’t know what’s gotten into her. I’m sorry if she freaked you out.”

“It’s all good,” I say, smiling and standing up to escape Onyx’s wet nose in my face. The moonlight reflects in Ronan’s eyes, making them shine like emeralds, and his skin looks like ivory. “What are you doing walking her so late?” I ask, grabbing my phone out of my pocket. It’s a quarter till three.

He bends down to secure the leather leash on Onyx’s collar. “Vada is staying over at my house,” he says, his lips pressed together.

“Yeah, I know,” I tell him, aware that Vada was going to spend yet another night pretending to be sleeping over at my place, when, in reality, she’s staying with Steve. I’m not sure why that would be the reason for him to be walking his dog at almost three in the morning.

Ronan just looks at me, a slow smile spreading across his face, his eyebrows raised as if he’s quizzing me. And then it dawns on me.

“Oh…. Oh,” I giggle. “Oh my god.” I put my hand over my mouth and laugh. “Does this happen a lot?”

He nods with a grin. “Yep. Let’s just say that when Vada is over, I don’t get a whole lot of sleep,” he says, and I immediately understand.

“And how long do you have to stay out?”

“I don’t know; I haven’t exactly timed them before,” he says, and we both laugh out loud.

“Sometimes, if I’m too tired, I just end up crashing on the couch in the living room, but tonight I thought I’d take Onyx for a little stroll and let those two get the horniness out of their system. Things can get a bit noisy,” he says, his eyebrows knitted, but his lips are still smiling. “How about you? Why are you out here?”

“Well, I woke up and thought I’d enjoy the nightly breeze.”

“It is a really nice night,” he agrees. “Are you feeling okay, though? You had quite a bit to drink earlier.” He looks at me with concern.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I drank a bunch of water and took some aspirin. I feel pretty good, actually,” I assure him, and drink in his handsome features. His smile is gentle, and the fullness of his lips makes me want to graze mine against them.

“I’m really glad to hear that,” he says, and pulls his bottom lip slightly into his mouth, running his tongue over it and wetting it. Our eyes meet and we look at each other so intensely my whole body is covered in goose bumps.

I swallow hard. “Ronan, I’m sorry.”

“For what?” he asks, his eyes not leaving mine.

“For kissing you to make that other guy go away.” I feel lousy; this is exactly the kind of crap I vowed never to do again.

“Oh, so you were just using me,” he says with mock offense, and I can’t help but laugh.

“Yeah, I guess so….”

He considers me, his gaze locked on me, burning their way into my soul. His lips are pressed together, brow tense as if he’s battling with himself the way I’m battling with myself. Part of me wishes he would step closer to me, would move his hands to my hips, would pull me toward him and kiss me; another part of me is afraid, ashamed, trying desperately to remind myself of my boundaries.

Ronan hesitates for a fraction of a second longer, but then seems to lose the war with himself. He steps toward me and his left hand moves under my chin, gently lifting my head toward him. I know exactly what’s coming, and I do nothing to stop him.

The truth is, I want it to happen.

Ronan leans in and brushes his lips against mine, kissing me softly. I part my lips, and his tongue slips inside my mouth. He tastes me while his hand moves from my chin over my shoulder and down to my hip, settling on my lower back. He pulls me into him, and our bodies melt together as our kiss intensifies.

My breath falters, my heart beats erratically against my ribs, and I press my chest against his. He continues caressing my tongue with his, his kisses igniting a fire inside me I didn’t know existed. I’ve never felt this way, not even with Adam, and it feels new, raw, and breathtaking. My senses are in overdrive and my legs become weak as Ronan deepens the kiss, his tongue venturing further into my mouth, devouring me. His hand on my low back is searing hot, and it sends a wave of desire through every fiber of me. I don’t want it to stop, ever, but Ronan pulls away, slowly opening his eyes. I can still feel my lips tingling and my breathing is frantic.

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