Page 37 of Tiny Fractures

He exhales slowly. “So, my dad left Montana when he was sixteen. He just up and left because I guess he was sick of the ranch life, wanted something different, I don’t know. He really didn’t have anywhere to go; he just sort of scraped by working all kinds of odd jobs. His plan was to enlist in the Air Force as soon as he turned seventeen, but he had a year to go. Anyway, a couple of weeks after he came to New York he met my mother. They hooked up and he got her pregnant, like, that night. I don’t really think they intended to see each other again afterwards, but… well. I’ve only met my grandparents on my mother’s side a handful of times. They’re really, really strict. Very Catholic. My grandfather is also a general in the Army, so he has that no-bullshit attitude.”

He glances at me and I look at him, eager for him to keep telling me the story.

“So, my mother’s parents kicked her out, disowned her, or whatever.”

“That’s awful,” I say quietly.

“My dad’s parents are equally as Catholic, but much, much kinder.” Ronan’s expression brightens a smidge. “They told my parents that they would take them in, but they had to get married. They couldn’t have a child out of wedlock. So my parents went back to Montana, got married, and had Steve a couple months later. My dad enlisted in the Air Force as soon as he turned seventeen, and just before he left for basic boot camp…”

“Your mom became pregnant again?”

He nods grimly. “Yep, four months after Steve was born. My dad still left for boot camp while my mother stayed in Montana with my grandparents. At some point my mother’s parents decided that maybe they did want a relationship with their daughter and grandsons after all. You know, legacy and all that bullshit.” Ronan frowns. “They helped my parents buy our house here in New York, but otherwise aren’t super involved in our lives.”

“Where do your mom’s parents live?” I’m fascinated by this backstory.

“White Plains,” he says. “In Westchester.”

“I don’t know where that is,” I admit, feeling like a total newcomer.

“It’s about an hour or so north of the city,” he says, his voice soft after telling me his parents’ story.

I push a breath out between my lips, my cheeks puffed out, processing everything Ronan just shared with me.

“And now your mom is a nurse.” I find it amazing that after having children as a teenager, she made it all the way through high school and college.

He nods again. “She got her GED and then attended night classes whenever she could. That’s why my mother never wanted to move with my dad and we stayed mostly here in New York while my dad was stationed wherever. After she finished school we did move with him a few times over the span of twelve months, but my mother hated it. So we stayed in New York, with the exception of a couple moves back to Montana when I was ten and again three years ago.”

“That’s incredible. Good for your mom going after it,” I say.

Ronan doesn’t respond, his expression indifferent. “Tell me something about you,” he finally urges.

“Uh, well, my parents also had me pretty young; they were twenty. I have a sister—Samantha—who is nine, and a brother—Benny—who is six. My parents are actually from New York, but they eloped to North Carolina when they graduated from high school. They met their freshman year,” I rattle off.

Ronan smiles at me. “They’re high school sweethearts?”

I nod. “Cute, right?”

“Can I ask why you and your mom moved to New York and your dad stayed behind in North Carolina?” There’s hesitation in his voice, as though he senses that everything may not be as happy-go-lucky as it seems.

I always dread this question. I’m just not ready to talk about what really happened and how I’m at fault for breaking up my whole family and literally ruining people’s lives, their futures.

“My mom thought it was time for a change of scenery, but my dad didn’t, so my mom decided we’d move as a sort of trial run while my parents figure things out.”

“But they’re still together?” Ronan asks, perplexed.

“Uh-huh,” I nod. “They’re just… trying to figure out what’s best, I guess.” I trail off, not wanting to get into details, and I’m relieved when Ronan doesn’t ask me to explain further. It’s like we have this odd understanding of each other, that there may be things we shouldn’t press just yet. I’m respectful of him and he of me, and I really like that.

We chit chat for the rest of the drive and I find myself smiling and laughing easily, which hasn’t been the case in a long time.

When we arrive at Shane’s new place, we get out of the car and each of us grabs a box from the backseat. I notice Ronan’s eyes lingering on me and it sends a strange sensation through my body. I pretend not to notice or care, but I can tell that something inside me is changing. The chains around my heart loosen the more time I spend with him.

We make it up the stairs together, and the door to Shane’s apartment is wide open. Noise wallows through the entrance as Ronan and I step into the hallway of the apartment.

Shane walks toward us, taking the box from me. “Is this the last of it?”

I nod. “Yes, that’s it.”

“Perfect, there’s pizza in the kitchen.” Shane moves his gaze to Ronan. “Let’s drop these boxes off in my bedroom and get some food.”

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