Page 108 of Tiny Fractures

“Yeah,” Vada confirms. “After Steve and I had sex for the first time, it was like our relationship was on a whole new, higher level.”

I can see that. With Adam, I never felt the emotional connection; I didn’t trust him. But that’s different with Ronan. I haven’t trusted anyone like I trust him. “I feel kind of bad,” I confess to Vada.

She cocks her head at me. “Why?”

“Because Ran took his time, he was so perfect, it felt unbelievable, and he gave me my first orgasm,” I explain. “And I didn’t do anything for him. He had to go shower and ‘take care of himself’ afterwards, and I feel guilty.”

Vada laughs. “Kitty Cat, I wouldn’t worry about it. They ‘take care of themselves’ probably like three times a day. And I bet if you asked him if last night was enjoyable for him, even though he didn’t get off with you, he would tell you yes, it was the best night ever. But if you’re really worried about it, but you’re not ready to have sex yet, there are obviously things you can do to… help him.”

Of course, I blush again. “I know I’m overthinking this, but, I haven’t even seen a guy naked. Well, a guy that I wanted to see naked, at least,” I add. “What if I touch him wrong? Ugh…” I trail off.

“Okay, you need to get out of your head. First of all, I’m not sure you can actually touch him wrong, but even if you do, he’ll let you know what feels good and what doesn’t. And you can usually gauge their reaction pretty well. Guys aren’t hard to read when it comes to sex. And second of all, just try things out, see what feels good to you. I promise, you’ll know when you’re ready. It’ll just happen one day; you guys will be making out or whatever and suddenly you’re not going to want to stop. Your body will scream for more, you will want to feel him—and I mean all of him—inside you, and then you’re never going to want to go back,” she laughs, and I join in.

“What’s funny?” Steve walks into the living room wearing black jeans and a navy-blue t-shirt. He has a mug of a hot liquid in each hand and places them in front of Vada and me on the coffee table.

“Sex,” Vada exclaims, and reaches for her cup.

“Oh yeah? What about it?” Steve asks, his hands in his jeans pockets as he stands, facing us, eyebrows raised.

Vada shrugs and takes a slow sip of her coffee. “Cat is worried about not knowing what she’s doing, and I told her guys are pretty easy to read when it comes to sex.”

I blush for the hundredth time today and bump Vada’s shoulder, embarrassed that she so readily discloses my concerns to Steve.

Steve’s attention turns to me, his face kind. “Honestly, Cat, just do what feels good to you. Odds are it will feel good to Ran, too.” Then he creases his eyebrows. “Well, unless you’re into, like S&M. Maybe go easy on that. I don’t know; I honestly don’t know what Ran’s kinks are, so… yeah, I don’t know, just, don’t overthink it. Have fun,” he says, and turns to head back to the kitchen for another cup of coffee.

“Told you.” Vada leans back on the couch, sipping her coffee. “So, what’s on the agenda for today?”

I shrug and take the second cup of coffee from the table before leaning back against the couch. “I don’t know; Ran and I didn’t exactly get a chance to talk last night,” I grin. “Do you have any ideas?”

“Not really.”

“I have an idea,” Steve calls out from the kitchen, then appears from around the corner with another mug in hand.

“Well, enlighten us then,” Vada says.

Steve takes a leisurely sip from his steaming coffee. “Why don’t we go skating?” he finally says. “I probably won’t get a lot of opportunity to once I’m away,” he adds, and Vada turns her attention to me.

“Wait, like, ice skating?” I ask her and Steve, both of whom nod. “Oh, I don’t know. I’ve never been.”

“You’ve never been ice skating?” Steve asks, squinting at me as if trying to detect a lie.

“Never in my entire life,” I say, making an X across my heart.

“What in the world? That’s just sad, Kitty Cat.” Vada pats my shoulder.

“So, skating it is, then,” Steve decides. “Your boyfriend will be delighted, since it’s kind of his thing, you know.” Steve grins at me.

“So I heard,” I grin back at him.

***

Ronan doesn’t wake up for another two hours while Steve, Vada, and I eat cereal and hang out. I hear him trudge down the stairs at just before eleven, and when he finally steps into the living room, I can’t help but smile. He’s wearing light-gray sweats, sitting low enough on his hips that the waistband of his black boxer briefs peeks out, but that’s all. I follow the ridges of his abdominal muscles up to his chest before finally finding his gorgeous face and locking on his eyes. The grin on his face tells me my staring did not go unnoticed.

“Good morning, princess,” Steve says while Ronan saunters toward me. “Did you get sufficient beauty sleep last night?” Steve winks at Ronan.

“Sure did,” Ronan says, and pulls me against his bare chest after he sits down next to me. “You on the other hand look like you could use a lot more beauty sleep,” he teases his older brother, who flips him off.

“Fuck off,” Steve says with a chuckle.

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