Page 7 of Kissing My Soulmate

“Claire Kensington, John’s daughter. How does she look?” She strokes the horse and then turns to look at me.

“Lady seems to be in perfect health. I’ll send in her lab work and will let you guys know if I find anything.” I dig a card out of my bag and hand it to her. “That’s my information, if you have any questions.”

Claire takes it and smiles. “Thanks.”

I head out of the barn. After saying goodbye to John and Curtis, I reach my truck and climb inside. Heading back to the office, I prepare the blood work and pack it up with the others.

Once I call for a package pickup, I head into my office and dictate my assessment of Lady. I pause when something catches my eye. It’s a picture frame on my desk. I pick it up and sigh. It’s Lorelei and me on our first wedding anniversary. We’d gone to Puerto Rico. We were lying together in the hammock outside our room.

We’d barely left our bed, but it was an amazing trip. We ate amazing food, made love constantly, and then would lounge on the beach. Fuck, I miss her. I miss snuggling with her on the sofa, Sundays where we would make love all day, and just spending time together.

Why did she have to change her mind about wanting kids? I know how she grew up, that she never really felt love until we met, and she was adamant that she didn’t. I never did because my dad was always an asshole who liked to smack me around. Instead of protecting me, my birther disappeared and took my baby sister with her, never looking back.

I swore off having children because I couldn’t live with myself if I hurt my children or Lorelei. I’m breaking the fucking cycle. Maybe there are some abandonment issues too, but that doesn’t matter.

I’d probably be a shit father—I’ve saved her the heartache of me turning into an asshole. Even though it killed me to do it.

***

Stepping inside Johnny’s Whiskey, and letting my eyes adjust to the dimmer lighting, I spot Linc sitting at a booth. He stands as I approach and we share a backslapping hug. We haven’t seen each other since before the wedding, but he had texted and wanted to meet for drinks.

“What’s up, brother?” I say, grabbing his shoulder, giving him a shake.

“Life’s been a little crazy.” He takes his seat as do I. “Thanks for meeting me. I know you haven’t been happy with me, and I’m sorry I didn’t reach out sooner, but out of respect for Audrey, I needed to wait.”

The waiter comes and takes our drink order. He orders a beer and I order a Glennfiddich neat. “What happened, man? It’s really fucked up what you did.”

Our waiter brings our drinks, and he thanks him. Linc takes a drink and then sets it down. “I couldn’t do that to her. She wanted things I knew I’d never be able to give her. She wanted to build a home and fill it with kids. That’s not what I wanted, and she was willing to forget about her dreams for me. I couldn’t let her do that.”

Wow, here I thought my best friend would hurt someone the way he hurt Audrey, but in fact he let her go to get the life she really wanted. Since he shared, I may as well too. “Lie and I are separated.”

His mouth drops open. “What the fuck, seriously? What happened? When did it happen?”

I swallow down the rest of my drink and signal for our waiter to get me another. “Right before the wedding. We decided not to say anything because it was supposed to be a happy weekend.” We order a couple of steaks and then I take a sip of my drink.

“You know my dad was a dick and it caused Mom to take off, taking Jamie with her. I always knew I never wanted kids. Becoming him scared the shit out of me. Lie grew up in foster care and she didn’t want kids either. A girl at her office had a baby and when she held it, things changed. We fell apart and here we are. The house has sold. She’s got a nice apartment, and I’m in a one-bedroom crappy apartment for now, but I don’t care.”

“Jesus, man. You guys are so great together.” I nod. “Do you think you’re going to start dating?”

Shaking my head, I pick up my drink. “I don’t know, maybe…eventually. I really thought she was my soulmate. She is my soulmate. We want different things, just like you and Audrey in a way.” I take a quick sip. “Aren’t we a pair?”

He laughs and shakes his head. “You’re not wrong.” Linc is quiet for a moment. “She’s happy and that’s all I ever wanted for her.”

“Same. I just want to know when it’s going to stop hurting.”

“I don’t know, man. I’m so sorry. We all were so envious of your relationship. Is there any chance that you’ll change your mind? I mean, she did.”

I don’t even hesitate. “Not a chance. I don’t want them. The abuse cycle stops with me.”

“You’re nothing like your dad, you know that, right? I mean he was always a dick. My parents agreed that even when your dad was young, he was an asshole.” He slams the rest of his beer down. “Listen, man, you two are meant for each other. If there is any chance you can change your mind, don’t lose her.”

After finishing our dinner and drinks, we throw some money on the table and head outside.

Chapter Five

Lorelei

I thumb through the dresses, but I’m not finding anything that is catching my eye. Since Jasper and I separated I’ve drowned myself in work and exercising. I’ve gone down two dress sizes, which is great—I want to be healthy when I have a baby, but every time I picture my child, I picture one who looks a lot like Jasper.

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