Page 28 of Kissing My Soulmate

Jasper and I look at each other and then he grabs my hand. I notice that his palm is sweaty, and I can feel him trembling. I wrap my arm around his bicep. He looks at me and then to Jefferson.

“I-I’ve done some thinking.” His leg bounces. “I want to have a baby.” He looks at me. “I want to have a baby with you.”

My mouth opens and closes but no words come out. Is my heart beating out of my chest? It feels like it’s going to explode. Instead of saying anything, I grab his face, kissing him hard on the lips. I pull away and smile. I lean in one more time, kissing him roughly.

“How do you feel about that, Jasper?” Jefferson asks.

“I’m scared to death,” he admits quietly.

I smile and then kiss the back of his hand. “It’s okay to be scared. I’m scared too, but I’m also excited. We’re going to be amazing parents.”

The rest of our session we talk about what’s next for us. I want Jasper to move in with me, just until we’re ready to buy another home. He does agree and that makes me so stinking happy. Tomorrow I’ll make an appointment with my OB/GYN to get my IUD taken out.

Jasper walks me to my SUV. He opens my door for me. “My lease is until the end of the month, but I’ll start packing some stuff, bringing it over. I’ll arrange for my furniture to go to storage for now.”

“That sounds so great.” I climb in. “I’ll make some room in my closet and my dresser for you.”

He leans in and kisses me. “Perfect. I’ll see you later.”

On my way home I begin to cry, happy tears of course. I just never thought we’d get here. I had thought that we were really truly over. I had wanted a happy ending with him so bad and didn’t think it would happen.

By the time I get back to my apartment, my tears have stopped. I let myself inside and greet Bob. “Hey, buddy. I have some exciting news.”

“Meow.” He follows me as I head into my bedroom.

“Jasper is moving in with us. I promise he is going to be good. You will learn to love him.” He looks like he doesn’t quite believe it. “I swear,” I say.

I start moving stuff around, making room in my closet and in the dresser. It’ll be tight quarters, but just being under the same roof as him is a dream come true.

Grabbing my jewelry box, I open the lid. My wedding ring is sitting right on top. I grab it and hold it up. It sparkles in the sunlight coming through the blinds. Do I wear it now? I’m not sure if there are rules for this sort of thing. Is this one tainted now?

I place it back inside for now and set the box on my dresser. Flopping back on the mattress, I place my hands over my heart, and again, begin to cry.

***

Jasper has been staying with me for the past two weeks and it’s been going stupendously. We’ve slipped right back into our cohabitated bliss. Bob Vance is the only one who hasn’t fully accepted our new roommate. He will, he just needs time.

We’ve been insatiable and have christened every inch of my apartment. We’re still in therapy and I think we always will go. I think it’s good and healthy for us to do it. We have made some big life decisions and didn’t have loving parents to guide either of us. Having someone unbiased to listen to us is helpful. Especially as we navigate this new future.

Today I’m on my way to my OB/GYN to have my IUD taken out. We decided we didn’t want to wait to start our family. I’ve been excited but nervous all day. Yes, there is a part of me that is scared he’ll change his mind, but I can’t be ruled by fear—neither can he.

I reach the office and pull into the parking lot. Taking a deep breath, I climb out of my SUV and make my way toward the door. The moment I step inside, cold air hits me and goosebumps break out along my skin.

Stepping up to the counter, I give the gal behind the desk my name. “They’ll be out to get you shortly, sugar,” she says with a smile.

I take a seat and flip through my phone, unable to focus on anything. Jasper had asked me if I wanted him to come, but I didn’t really think it would be necessary. This was just going to be a quick in-and-out visit, there was no need for him to miss work.

I’m not sure how long it’s going to take for us to get pregnant, but we’re definitely going to have fun trying.

“Lorelei M.”

I stand and follow the nurse into the back. She weighs me, takes my vitals, and then leads me into an exam room. The nurse tells me to go ahead and take my bottoms off and place the sheet over my lap.

She leaves me and I quickly strip off my skirt and panties. I fold them both and place them on the chair, of course, I hide the undies so they don’t see them.

Sitting down on the end of the bed, waiting for my doctor to come in, I imagine our little girls or little boys. I don’t have a preference; I just want babies that are healthy.

There is a knock on the door and then Dr. Olson comes in.

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