Page 22 of Kissing My Soulmate

We’ve had three sessions and the second one was a little tough, we talked about my resentment toward my mom for leaving me to the abuse of my father. Jefferson had asked if I ever tried to find my mom and sister. Truth be told, I have had no desire to find her.

What could she possibly have to say to me that I want to hear? Lorelei said she’d never leave me or our child because I’d never take a hand to her in anger. Which is true, but what if I switched, what if we brought children into this world and I became a monster?

“Let’s find your mom,” Lorelei had said. “Get some closure. Tell her what it did to you when she left.”

I stood up from my seat next to her and started pacing. “It’s not that simple, Lorelei. Should we go find your parents too? Ask them why they burned their little baby girl with a crack pipe?”

She started to cry while rubbing her thigh where her scar is, and I felt like an asshole, I triggered my wife. Fuck—I suck. “I’m sorry, baby.” I got down on my haunches in front of her. “That’s not fair and you didn’t deserve that.”

Jefferson suggested we end the session because Lorelei had been so upset, which was my fault. My girl was strong though because she got herself together and asked to finish the session.

She spoke about her desire for children. “Even though I never felt love until Jasper, I feel like I have a lot of love to give a child. My babies will feel cared for and treasured.”

It did something to me to hear her say that. It made me so fucking happy, but so fucking sad. I reached out, grabbing her hand and giving it a squeeze.

Ending our session, we went out front to schedule are next appointment. Lorelei had been quiet while I walked her to her rental. I stopped her before she could open the door. “I am really fucking sorry for what I said in there. You didn’t deserve that.” I shook my head. “This is why I shouldn’t have…”

Lorelei covered my mouth with her hand. “Please stop. That’s not it and you know it. I know your mom is a very sensitive subject, and I shouldn’t have brought her up. I’m sorry.”

I pulled her hand away from my mouth. “No, you were right. It might help close that chapter if I knew why she didn’t take me with.” I shook my head. “I don’t know if I’ll do it, but it may be time to consider facing the past.”

“Jasper?”

I focus back on Lorelei and her question. “I think it’s going pretty well. I didn’t like making you cry though and I’m still sorry.”

She reaches across the table and grabs my hand. “Jasper, I know you didn’t. Quit apologizing.”

Our drinks are delivered, and I pour each of us a glass. “To us,” I say as I hold up my glass.

She smiles and lifts her glass, clinking it to mine. “To us.” She takes a sip of her drink and makes a little mmmm… sound, before setting her glass down. “Thank you for coming today. When we’re done here, do you want to come over and hang out?”

We haven’t spent any time together in one or the others’ homes. Trying to avoid being intimate. Not that I don’t want that because I do. I’m tired of my hand, but when we’d had that quicky a few weeks ago, she’d freaked out a little and I don’t want her to feel like she owes me anything.

But then I like the thought of spending more time with her. “That sounds really good.”

Our waiter brings our food and then the two of us dig in.

***

Lorelei comes in from the kitchen, carrying a large bowl of popcorn. She takes a seat right next to me and that damn cat of hers sits on my other side, giving me the stink eye. “Meow,” he says as he tips his head to the side and looks at me.

“I think he hates me.” I turn to look at Lorelei and then back at Bob. “What did I ever do to you?”

“He thinks you’re trying to take his momma.” She leans across me to pick him up.

Lorelei’s floral scent wraps around me and makes my dick twitch in my pants. She holds that damn cat up and looks him in the eye. He begins to purr and bumps her head with his. She kisses him and then sits him down next to her.

She turns out the light and we begin watching Grown Ups, her favorite movie. I wrap my arm around her shoulders as she snuggles into my side. She munches on the popcorn, laughing at this ridiculous movie.

I grab a handful of the buttery, salty popcorn and drop a couple of pieces at a time into my mouth. Bob has moved to sit next to me, watching me like a psycho. Lorelei just laughs and shakes her head.

By the time the movie is over, Lorelei is asleep with her head on my chest and her arm wrapped around me. I’m not ready to move her yet. I turn on Brooklyn Nine-Nine, absently stroking her hair.

We spent a lot of time snuggling just like this over the past three years. She usually makes it about halfway through a movie before falling asleep. It takes her a couple of tries to finish the movies we watch.

The episode I’m watching ends, and I get up off the sofa. I very carefully lift her into my arms. Moving through her apartment, I carry her into the bedroom. I lay her down and as I cover her; she grabs on to my arm.

“Please, don’t leave,” she whispers.

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