Page 23 of Britain

“Brit?” I turn with a start and find my brother standing in the doorway to the supply room.

“Hey, sorry.” I set the clipboard down. “What’s up?” Can he tell what I was thinking about?

“Nothing, I just called for you and you didn’t answer. I stepped in here and found you just staring at the shelves.” His dark brown eyes are assessing me. “You okay?”

“I’m fine, worrywart. What did you need?”

“I couldn’t find any more spark plugs.”

I chuckle. “You guys would be lost without me.” I always keep a supply hidden, because otherwise they have a tendency to disappear. In the back of the stockroom, I grab him the box of standard spark plugs. “Here.” I push him away. “Now get, because I need to finish this order and get it in so we get this shit before the weekend.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Later, you little shit.” I watch my brother’s retreating back and smile. I’ve been truly blessed with an amazing family.

After I finish, I enter the order online and push away from my dad’s desk. Standing up, I file the order form I wrote out and the confirmation email from the supplier. On top of the filing cabinet, I grab the family picture my mom made us do for their anniversary. I was fifteen and had refused to wear my hair down or a dress. Keith and Beth had just gotten married, so she helped me find an outfit that was me, but dressy.

I wore tailored khaki shorts, a white tank top, and a baby blue cardigan over it. Beth even talked me into just a little lip gloss. I grumbled the entire time, but when Dad brought the picture home in a beautiful frame my mom wept with joy, and I quit being a brat about it when she’s made us do it every year since.

I set the picture down and find my dad standing in the doorway. “I remember I had to practically carry you into the studio, but the look on your face when I brought the framed picture home and you saw how your mom reacted was enough for you to agree every year after with no guff.” He stops in front of me and kisses my forehead. “Did you get the order submitted in time?”

“Of course I did.”

My dad hugs me tightly. “That’s my girl. The garage is slow right now, so why don’t you skate out early? I know you’re watching our Annie tomorrow, and that girl will run you ragged.”

I do as he says. When I get home, I find Beth in the kitchen. “Hey, girl. What are you doing?” I ask as I hop up on the counter.

My sister-in-law smiles at me. “Just planning out meals for the week—your brother is convinced that this baby will be a girl too. We’ll have three weddings to save for, so he figured we should get a jump on saving now. I haven’t told him yet, but I’m pretty sure this baby is a boy. I was sick from the start with both girls, but I feel amazing with this one.” She lovingly rubs the beginning of her little baby belly.

“Awww…A little boy would be so fun.” I scrub my hands over my face. “Can I talk to you about something?”

Beth stops writing and looks up at me. “Sure, what’s up?”

I chew on my thumbnail. She grabs my hand, pulling it from my mouth. “Do you know what BDSM is?”

Beth freezes and looks at me. I start to get nervous because she says nothing for what feels like a long time. I’m about to hop off the counter to escape to my bedroom when she comes over and hops up on the counter next to me. “I know of it, and I’ve read it in books. Why are you asking?”

I take a deep breath. “Silas is into it, and asked me if I’d be interested in doing it with him.” Ugh, I don’t even think that’s the right way to say it. “Please say something.” I look at her while I chew on the inside of my cheek.

She grabs my hand with both of hers and hugs it against her heart. “I’m not sure what to say, sweetheart. You’re a virgin.” It’s not a question, because they all know that I haven’t really let myself experience anything with a man, until now at least. “Are you ready for something intense like that?”

“I don’t know, but I know when he kisses me my toes curl, and I get butterflies. He gave me books to read, and wants to take me to a club that’s for BDSM. To see if it’s something I’d want to do.” I turn so I’m facing Beth. “I really want to go. Does that make me a weirdo? That maybe what happened messed me up?”

She lets go of my hand and grabs my face. “It does not make you a weirdo. People practice BDSM for many reasons and none of them bad. What happened has nothing to do with it. You do have a wall up around you, but maybe Silas can help you break down that wall. You deserve to try.”

My eyes burn, but I blink the threatening tears away. Silas scares me, but not necessarily in a bad way. The little voice inside me tells me not to let this pass me by.

“You know, it is okay to cry. It doesn’t make you weak.” She gives me a smile that I always feel down into my soul. Beth is my soul sister, and she’s what I’ll strive to be for the rest of my life.

“I know it is.” I swallow the lump in my throat. “I’m scared. What if I don’t like it, and he decides he doesn’t want to be with me?”

“Isn’t it better to find out now, rather than after you develop feelings for him? I just want you to promise to be safe. I won’t tell your brother, because I know he’ll get all overprotective alpha on you, and you deserve the chance to get out there and experience life. Your dad and brothers mean well, but they have a tendency to want to shield you from everything. Britain, you’re going to be just fine. No matter what, I see good things.”

I hug her tightly. “Thank you for always being there for me. I love you.” I kiss her cheek before I hop off the counter and head down to my place. Flopping down on the bed, I stare at the MacBook on my little table. It taunts me from its white, glossy box.

I’ve watched the tutorial for the writing program Silas bought and played around with it and now I know how to use it, but I’ve written nothing. I grab the laptop off the table and sit back on the bed. I open the lid, pull up Safari, and type in, “what do submissives wear to BDSM clubs?”

My pulse begins to race as I start scanning all of the information on what I should wear. It also says that some clubs have strict dress codes for both Doms and submissives. I pick up my phone and type out a text to Silas.

Britain: What am I supposed to wear this weekend?

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