Page 18 of Britain

Britain

Oh my God, I’m an idiot. Did I seriously just blurt out my vagina’s status out of nowhere? Yep, I sure did, and now I’m praying for the earth to open up and swallow me. Who does that—oh yeah me, the big fucking idiot. I bury my face in my hands, because maybe he doesn’t even want that, and I’ve just made a fool of myself.

He wraps his hands around my wrists and pulls them down. I clench my eyes closed, but I can feel him get closer to me. “Britain?” His voice is silky smooth—silky smooth? I’ve become the heroine of my own romance novel. The young, awkward virgin and the hot, wealthy playboy. Hmmm…an idea for my story, maybe? Of course he’d be some sort of shapeshifter…a wolf maybe—no, dragon. “Open your eyes,” he murmurs.

Time to put on my big girl panties and slowly open them. I’m not sure what I expected to see, but it’s not the soft smile on his lips. “I’m glad you told me, and if we ever get to that point, then it’s information I definitely need to have.” His face turns serious in an instant. The smell of his cologne wraps around me. “Don’t ever feel embarrassed about it. Any man who comes along, me included, who would get the honor of being your first should treasure it always, as long as you wait for the right one.”

I’m speechless, because that was the perfect thing to say and if I open my mouth to respond I know I’ll blurt something else embarrassing.

“Will you take your hair down?” he asks. “I’d love to see it down.” I don’t ever wear it down, except to bed. When I was little my mom—my real mom—used to leave my hair down and in big curls. I was her doll and her excuse to play dress up.

If I close my eyes, I can still feel the soft material sliding down my little body. A feeling I loved until I didn’t.

In my head I go through the exercises the therapist I’ve seen since I was six taught me, taking nice slow breaths as I reach up and pull the pins out of my hair. All the while, I tell myself that I’m safe and Silas isn’t going to hurt me. I’ve become very good at reading people, whether they’re good or bad.

One by one, I pull the bobby pins out of my hair until my blonde locks fall around my shoulders and down the middle of my back. I open my eyes and watch Silas reach out, running his fingers through my hair. His blue eyes sparkle in the firelight, and I don’t miss the way they darken, but seconds later he pulls away and his face is blank.

Not long after that he excuses himself, grabbing the carafe and mugs and disappearing inside. I’m not sure what just happened, but something did. Does he not find me attractive like this? I shake those thoughts off because I truly don’t believe that.

While he’s gone, I quickly twist my hair up and shove the bobby pins back into it. I ignore the sinking feeling in my gut.

When he comes back out, he turns off the fire pit, and I take that as my cue to get up so he can take me home. He’s pretty silent as we make it toward my place, but I enjoy it, especially as he laces his fingers with mine. When he pulls in my driveway, he gets out and then comes around to help me out. Silas walks me to my back door.

“Thank you for tonight.”

“You’re welcome,” he says as he reaches out, tucking a loose strand behind my ear. My body does this full shiver, and then his lips are on mine. At first I don’t respond—maybe I’m just stunned—but at the first touch of his tongue against my lips, I finally react. I have no clue what I’m doing when I hesitantly touch my tongue to his.

My arms wrap around his neck, and my front is snug against his. The spicy scent of his cologne or aftershave fills my nose and gives me a heady feeling. All too soon the kiss ends, and he steps back. “I’ll talk to you later.”

I nod, and then step inside. Through the window, I smile and wave before he gives me a chin lift, and then he’s gone.

***

With my coveralls hanging around my waist, I sweep out the garage. We were so busy today, and I felt like I could barely keep up with stuff. My mind is preoccupied with thoughts of Silas. I haven’t seen him or heard from him since our date almost two weeks ago. It’s the virgin thing, I know it, and it sucks because he didn’t seem to be bothered by that when I first told him.

My dad’s in his office working on some paperwork. I’m in the bays with one of the newer guys my brother hired, Mitch. I don’t feel totally comfortable around him, but he hasn’t given me a reason to be leery of him so far, either.

I put the push broom away and move toward the door, but he stops me. “You all done for the night?” Mitch smiles and he’s got two huge dimples that pop up.

“Yeah, you?”

“I am as soon as I finish this.” I’m not sure what he’s working on.

I quickly tell him goodnight and head inside. After stripping off my coveralls, I slip into some black Vans, grab my messenger bag, and head toward my dad’s office. When I step through the doorway, I find him with his head bent as he scribbles something down in a notebook.

“Hey, Dad.”

He looks up at me, giving me that smile that makes me feel safe and loved. “Hi, baby. You heading home?”

“Yeah, Mitch is still working on that Mustang.”

He nods. “Everything okay?”

I shrug, not sure how to answer that. I tell him about my date, and that I haven’t heard from him since. I don’t tell him it’s because I blurted out that I was a virgin. “I don’t know why I care, but I don’t know, I just do.”

“Is he an idiot or what? Doesn’t he know that my girl is a catch? I’d rather you not date at all, but your mom says your brothers and I coddle you.” He gets up, coming around his desk to engulf me in a bear hug. I’ve never felt safer than I do when I’m in his arms.

“It’s seriously okay. Tell Mom I’ll stop by with Annie Bananie tomorrow.”