Silas reluctantly takes Alex’s hand. “Yeah, you too.” He turns to look at me. “Are you almost finished? I thought we could take dinner to my dad, and you can finally meet him face to face.”
I absolutely love his dad—we’ve only talked on the phone, and he’s so sweet. “Awesome. Let me finish up here, and then I just need to wash up.” I turn to look at Alex. “Thanks for bringing your car by. Maybe I’ll see you around the school.”
He says goodbye, and after he starts his car again, he backs up and then pulls away. I wrap my arms around his waist. “Are you going to wait here?”
“Do you think you’ll be long?”
“No, Dad wanted to get out of here soon and didn’t want to leave me alone. I just need to clean up quick and then I can go.”
“I’ll just meet you at home.” Oh, I like the sound of that. “I mean, I’ll see you at my place.”
I stiffen; what the hell was that? “Yeah, okay. I’ll be there as quick as I can.” He bends down and kisses me on the lips before turning away and walking to his Porsche.
I quickly tidy up the bay, and then pull my car out. I shut all the bay doors and head back to my dad’s office. I hear him talking, probably to my mom. “Oh yeah, baby. You can wear that purple nightie I bought you.” I cover my ears and try not to gag.
“I’m coming in. Please stop talking,” I announce as I walk in.
My dad starts full-on belly laughing. “Our daughter looks ill.” He listens with a smile so full of love on his face that it makes me envious. “I’ll see you in a bit, and I love you too.” He puts his phone down and smiles up at me. “Sorry.”
I shake my head. “No, don’t be sorry. It’s sweet, and just shows how much you guys still love each other.” I sit down on the chair across from him. “Was it you or Mom that said, ‘I love you,’ first?”
“The first time, I said it first. I said it to her a week after we met. The second time, I admit I was afraid to say it. She had stepped in to help with you without me even asking, and it didn’t take long to realize that I had always loved her. And to answer your question, I was waiting until she said it. I didn’t want her to think that it was only because I was grateful to her.”
He’s never told me this stuff before. “I remember the moment she told me: I woke up and when I came downstairs, I found the two of you working side by side making breakfast. You were giggling like you used to all of the time. You were looking at each other, and she looked at you with so much love that I felt it deep in my chest.”
Dad smiles softly. “I wrapped my arms around both of you and kissed you both on the foreheads. Your mom placed her lips against my ear and whispered those three little words. It was also that same day that she told me that she loved you.”
My eyes burn, but I hold back the tears that threaten to spill. “Well, I’ll let you get home to Mom and her purple nightie…barf. The garage is all closed down.”
He gets up and comes around the desk, pulling me into a hug. “Thanks, sweetheart, and I promise I listened to what you said earlier. I’ll be nice to Silas.”
I kiss his scruffy cheek before I run to my locker, grab my bag, and head out.
When I get home—I mean, back to Silas’s—I grab my bag and head to the elevator. Heaviness fills me the closer I get to his floor. Letting myself in, I find the living room empty, and then head up the stairs.
I find Silas sitting on the end of his bed. My stomach begins to turn. “Silas?”
He looks at me. “I saw you standing with that guy in the parking lot, and all I wanted to do was pummel his face for getting too close to you. Then I hear him ask you out and you can’t even spit out that you have a boyfriend.” Silas scrubs his hands over his face. “I was totally fucking jealous, and the worst part is you have no clue the effect you have on men. I watched you two before he asked you out, and you were so oblivious that he was into you.”
“You have nothing to be jealous about.” I get down on my knees in front of him. “I met that guy before you and I ever met, and he assumed that I was gay. We talked cars and he wanted to show me his Impala. He means nothing. I love you.”
We both freeze—time stands still as we stare at each other. He looks like he’s about to bolt, but instead he stands up, walking around me. “I’ll meet you downstairs, and then we can head to my dad’s.”
I sit back on my heels, shaking my head. I’m so stupid; I should’ve kept my mouth shut. Is it so wrong that I love him? Is he that surprised that I do? Right now is when I wish I was experienced with men, because I don’t know what I should do. What I do know is I don’t think I want to go with him—I kind of just want to go home.
I grab my duffel bag out of his closet and quickly grab my stuff out of the bathroom, my clothes, and shoes. I zip it up and throw it over my shoulder. My eyes burn as I make my way downstairs. I find Silas in the kitchen with his head down.
“I’m going home. I need some space from you.” His mouth opens like he’s going to interrupt me, but I hold up my hand. “Right now I don’t want to hear it. I don’t know what I’m doing here, but I obviously fucked up. I can’t help how I feel, and thank you for making me feel bad for being in love with you.”
I walk out of his apartment and climb in my car once I reach the garage. While pulling out onto the street and heading toward my place, it hits me that he didn’t stop me and he sure didn’t follow me.
***
I roll over in bed and that’s when I realize I’m alone, and that I’m back in my brother’s basement. I told Silas I loved him, and he said nothing. Last night my brother tried to get me to talk about it, but I told him I didn’t want to. Then Beth came down, and I kept the conversation light. We lay face to face with an arm around each other.
It’s been six weeks or so since she lost the baby, and it was good to see her smiling again. I know my brother has seemed a lot more relaxed lately. They’ve also decided to try for another baby starting next month. Beth’s scared, of course, but they want one more baby.
After she left me, I grabbed my laptop and deleted the story I had been working on. How could I write romance when I was obviously too inexperienced? Maybe someday I’ll write…someday.