Page 44 of Unexpected Love

“Just sent it,” I tell him as I make my way back out to the living room.

“All right, I’m going to look at it.”

I’m met with silence for a second. “What’s wrong?” he asks.

I’m taken aback by his question. “W-What do you mean, what’s wrong? Nothing’s wrong.”

“Baby, don’t lie to me. Your eyes are very expressive, but good try trying to hide it with the tongue and the devil’s horns. What’s going on?”

He doesn’t sound like he’s going to let up about it. “I just got sad for a second. I was pulling up my shirt, and my stomach’s flat, and it just kind of hit me again why it is.” The tears start to fall.

“Oh, Chloe, baby, I’m so fucking sorry. God, I wish I was there with you right now. You know what?”

“What?”

“I want you to lie down on your sofa. Make sure it’s on your back.” He’s silent as I move until I’m lying flat on my back.

“Okay, I’m on my back.”

“Good job, baby. Now I want you to close your eyes. Take some deep cleansing breaths in and out.”

Doing what he says, I remember my breathing from when I tried meditation after my break up with Trevor. In through my nose, out through my mouth—I repeat it over and over and feel it begin to work.

“That’s real good. That use to work on Abby when she’d have her panic attacks.” His voice is soft and soothing. “Are you feeling better?”

“Yes, thanks. Sorry, I wasn’t expecting that—it kind of hit me out of the blue.”

“I know I didn’t lose her like you did, and I can’t understand what you’re still going through, but—”

“You lost her, too. You’re allowed to think about it and about her or what might have been. I’m sure we’re going to think about her for the rest of our lives. For both of us, we’ll learn to live with that little bit of pain we’ll always feel. Sorry I ruined our date.”

“Next time I see you, I’m going to spank your ass. You didn’t ruin shit, and I don’t want to hear you say that shit again.”

Wow, he sounds really pissed at me right now. “I-I’m sorry.”

“That’s okay. Just don’t ever feel like you can’t share your fucking feelings with me. Even if things were to end with us, I would still want you to be able to share your feelings with me, especially about that.”

I rub my hand over my chest because the thought of us not being together freaking hurts. “Okay, thank you, and the same goes for you.”

We don’t talk much longer after that because I have to work in the morning and he’s got a playdate with his niece. I’m anxious to see him next weekend because I just want to let him hold me.

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