Page 23 of Finding Hope

Jonathon disappeared ten minutes ago to talk to everyone and bring Josie up. Since Henry couldn’t suck very well to take a bottle or nurse, an NG tube that ran through his nose into his belly was feeding him. Karrie came in and looked at his monitor and then stopped in front of Shannon. “Your husband has been here every day since Henry was born,” she said. “You’re very lucky to have such a supportive spouse.” She wanted to correct the woman, but Jonathon chose right then to return with Josie.

It wasn’t hard to see that she was terrified. She had her arms wrapped tightly around her dad’s waist. Shannon gave her a smile. “It’s okay, sweetheart. Come meet your brother.”

Jonathon said something to Josie and she slowly made her way toward them. She surprised Shannon when she carefully wrapped her thin arms around Shannon’s neck, hugging her tight.

Again, Shannon wished she could hear, because she could feel Josie’s lips moving against her shoulder. Josie pulled away and with a shaky hand reached out, touching Henry’s cheek. Shannon could see the tears fill Josie’s eyes as the little girl looked over her brother’s tiny body. “He’s strong, honey. They told me he’s getting bigger and stronger every day.” She leaned toward Josie and whispered, “I think he looks like you. What do you think?”

“I think he looks like Dad.” She watched Josie’s lips move as she looked down at Henry. “Hi, Henry, I’m your big sister, Josie. I love you.”

Josie didn’t stay much longer after that. Shannon had wanted Josie to hold Henry, but with Josie’s initial reaction to seeing the baby, she wanted to give the girl a break for the day. As she was walking out the door, Josie turned to look at Shannon one more time before bolting after her father, and Shannon couldn’t miss the small smile on Josie’s lips. That little girl had been through so much in her young life already. She was handling everything better than Shannon expected. Was it just a matter of time before the little girl let it all out? Was the fall and Henry’s premature birth going to be the reason that she finally lost it?

Shannon closed her eyes and pressed her lips to Henry’s head. Quietly, she said a little prayer. First, thanks for protecting her and Henry. Second, she prayed Josie would have the strength to process everything and express herself however she needed to so she could let it all out and move on.

The nurse came in after Josie and Jonathon left. She typed stuff into her little computer and then checked the IVs and Henry’s oxygen. “I need to change his diaper. Would you like to help?”

Shannon nodded and then let Karrie pick Henry up. She stood up gingerly and moved over to the changing table where she watched the baby’s diaper being changed. The diaper was almost as big as he was. After he was all cleaned up, Karrie again helped Shannon settle Henry on her chest. She would never tire of the feel of him on her chest. She took a big whiff, wanting to bottle that sweet baby smell.

Jonathon came back a while later. He crouched down next to them and placed his hand over Shannon’s. “I’m hogging him. I’m sorry.” He hadn’t held him since they brought her up.

“Don’t be sorry. I’ve had a whole week to hold him. How are you feeling?”

“My head hurts and I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus, but holding him in my arms makes it all go away.”

He leaned forward and kissed her forehead.

Shannon’s lips tipped up in a smile and then she closed her eyes and promptly fell asleep.

***

Twenty-Five Days Later

It was finally time to take Henry home. As Shannon made her way toward the doors to the NICU she thought about the past twenty-five days.

First, she had been discharged three days after she woke up and besides the residual headaches and all of the stuff from having Henry, she was in pretty good shape. Every day she was getting stronger and stronger. It had been hard to leave her baby, but the first week, her parents and Jonathon all insisted she take it easy, so they compromised. She left every night at nine or ten and then came back between six and seven.

She’d been asleep for the first week of his life. She wasn’t going to miss any more. The nurses were so amazing with them and their million questions. They asked about every possible scenario that could happen when they brought him home. When Shannon got released from the hospital, Jonathon had asked her to move in with him and Josie. He must’ve been thinking about it for a while.

He had a nursery already set up and that way she wouldn’t have to transport the baby back and forth. Plus, Jonathon was adamant about helping Shannon with everything. She agreed, but she would stay in the same room with Henry. They still had so much to talk about and just hadn’t had the chance. The end of that first week, she’d finally gotten her new sound processor, and wept the first time she heard Henry cry. It was the most beautiful sound she’d ever heard.

She was sad when her parents informed her that they never found Felix, but they were still searching. No matter what, she’d love him forever, because had it not been for him she might not have woken up in time. There would always be a special place in her heart for her partner in crime.

Josie got more and more comfortable around Henry. Two weeks ago, she finally held him. Shannon had taken so many pictures of them. Josie would come with Tessa after school and she would read to him. Little by little, they introduced their families to him. He was a popular little boy and thrived under all of the attention he got.

It was around that time that they were able to take out Henry’s NG tube and they began bottle-feeding him. Shannon had tried to breastfeed him, but he never latched on. It was hard on her at first, but she knew it was a possibility. He was getting bigger and bigger every day. Shannon and Jonathon decided not to circumcise him. He had already been through so much since he was premature, and he didn’t need that unnecessary trauma.

The day before, when the doctor finally signed off on Henry’s discharge papers, Shannon had cried happy tears. She just wanted her baby home.

She ran down the hallway with Jonathon trailing behind her with the carrier. When the doors opened, she slid to a stop in front of the doorway to his room. She saw blue balloons and flowers, and grabbed the card from the flowers. Tessa, Cash, and Hunter had sent them. Handing the card to Jonathon, she walked toward the crib and scooped up her son.

“Hi, my sweet little man. Are you ready to go home?” He stared up at her with his dark eyes. They still couldn’t tell what color they were going to be, but Shannon thought they’d be brown like Josie and Jonathon.

She felt Jonathon come up behind her, and he wrapped his arm around her waist. “Hey, buddy.” He reached out, touching Henry’s ruddy cheek. Shannon didn’t know what to think about Jonathon’s arm around her, but she wasn’t going to tell him that she loved it and missed his closeness. Even though she was staying with Jonathon and Josie, between Henry and helping with Josie, they hadn’t really spent any alone time together. Plus, a week ago, Jonathon had gone back to work, so she saw him even less.

There were so many things they hadn’t talked about, which needed to be discussed. Shannon just hoped they were on the same page.

She changed Henry into his little outfit that she bought for him to go home in. Even though it was sized for preemies, he still swam in the little blue jumper with teddy bears all over it. Several of the nurses stopped in to say goodbye to Henry, including Karrie, who had been his primary nurse.

Everyone exchanged hugs and kisses and pictures were taken. Shannon loved that they made it a production when a baby got to go home. There were only two other babies in the NICU and the parents appeared hopeful. She couldn’t help but close her eyes and say a quick little prayer that they’d be taking their babies home soon as well.

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