Page 11 of Finding Hope

When she pulled up into the parking lot, her stomach started to turn and her palms began to sweat. On shaky legs, she made her way up the stairs to his door. She took a deep breath and knocked. Side to side, she shifted on her feet. When Jonathon finally answered, she gave him a nervous smile.

“Hi,” she said lamely.

“Hey, come on in.” He stepped back so she could walk in. She looked around his apartment and noticed it was decorated with a much more feminine look than she would’ve expected. The main wall in the living room was covered in pictures. She was dying to look at them. “So what’s up? Why’d you need to talk?”

She blindly walked toward the wall of pictures. His daughter was beautiful, but Shannon wasn’t surprised. There was a picture that drew her attention. She made her way toward it and saw it was a much younger Jonathon and a beautiful girl with hair so blonde it reminded her of Elsa from Frozen. They were staring at each other with eyes filled with so much love it made Shannon jealous and then she felt like shit for getting jealous.

Shannon felt Jonathon come up next to her. “She was beautiful.” She couldn’t look at him because she knew she’d see that same look in his eyes now.

“Why are you here, Shannon?” His voice was soft and smooth.

Turning around to face him, she felt like her heart was going to beat itself right out of her chest. She stuck her hand into her pocket, wrapping it around the pregnancy test. The plastic bit into her skin as she held it in a death grip. “I-I’m pregnant.” She held it up in his face. He didn’t react at all at first. She didn’t know if that was a good thing or not.

Jonathon leaned toward her. “Get. Rid. Of. It.” Tears spilled from her eyes immediately as she looked up at the man she loved like she didn’t know him at all. Before she could stop herself, her hand flew up and she smacked him right across the face. She was crying in earnest but she didn’t care.

“I hate you! I will never forgive you for this.” He opened his mouth to speak but she held up her hand, halting him. “No. Don’t. I don’t want to see you or talk to you ever again.” She put her hands on her stomach as tears poured down her face. “I will never ask you for anything because this is my baby and mine alone.”

Shannon bolted toward the door and when she opened it, she almost collided with a tall blonde woman. More than likely it was Tessa, his sister. In an emotional fog, she made it back to her place unscathed. Once inside, she locked the doors, drew the curtains and made sure Felix had food. In zombie mode, she made it to the bedroom, took out her sound processor and crawled into bed where she promptly cried herself to sleep.

***

Shannon sat on the exam table while she waited for the doctor to come in. For the past month and a half, she’d been going through the motions. After about two days of keeping herself locked away in her bedroom, her sister and her best friend showed up since she wasn’t answering her phone. Mary had held her while she cried and told them about Jonathon’s reaction to her news. While Shannon cried, Kasey was busy plotting the sperm donor’s death.

Mary had gone with Shannon to their parents’ house when she told them about the pregnancy. She had worried herself sick about telling them, but they both reacted better than she expected. They weren’t too happy when Shannon had to tell them that the father didn’t want to be involved, and she spent a great deal of time talking her father out of hopping in his truck and driving to the police station.

It didn’t take long once she started sleeping with Jonathon before her parents figured out something was going on. They’d been waiting for Shannon to say something, but she didn’t tell anyone. Kasey and Mary were going to be her coaches, they decided. Their support made the whole mess her life seemed to be that much better.

A knock on the door pulled Shannon from her thoughts. Her OB/GYN, Dr. Koehler, popped her head in and smiled. “Hey, girl. Are you ready?” Shannon had been seeing her for the past four years and absolutely loved the crazy redhead.

“Yeah, I’m ready.”

The first part of the exam was mostly answering questions about Shannon’s family history. Shannon was embarrassed when Dr. Koehler asked her about the father and she couldn’t give her any information. The doctor just gave her a gentle smile and patted Shannon on the knee.

From her spot on the table, she watched her doctor drag what looked like a small TV over to the side of the bed. “Ready to see and hear your baby?”

Her voice cracked. “Yes, I-I’m ready.” The doctor pulled Shannon’s gown up over her stomach and tucked the paper drape into the top of her panties. Shannon jerked a little bit when the jelly hit her stomach.

“Okay, Shannon, watch the monitor.” Shannon turned her head and watched the screen. “There he or she is.” Dr. Koehler pointed out the baby’s nose, spinal cord, arms, and legs. The baby was giving them a great profile shot. A fast whooshing sound filled the room as Shannon’s eyes filled with tears. “Strong heartbeat. Can you hear it okay?”

“Y-Yes.” Her voice again cracked as she was filled with overwhelming happiness. It was the most beautiful sound in the world. Tears slipped down her cheeks when it truly hit her that she was having a baby alone. She was scared, but knew she had to be strong for her baby. Jonathon popped into her mind, and her chest ached. Over the past few weeks, he’d texted her and tried to call her, but she never answered or called him back.

She was not ready to hear him tell her to get rid of the baby again, or whatever other mean bullshit he’d spew.

After the rest of Shannon’s exam, her doctor told her she was due mid-October and she was eleven weeks along. She smiled, thinking about having the baby around Halloween. That would make for fun birthday parties. Out at the front desk, she checked out and stopped by the pharmacy to drop off her prenatal vitamin prescription.

Shannon pulled her cellphone out of her bag and swiped at the screen and was just texting her mom when a message popped up.

Jonathon: Shannon, I know you don’t want to hear from me, but I need your help. My dad attacked my daughter and my sister. We’re heading to the hospital right now, but I need help with Josie. Can you please meet us at Roper? Please!

Before she could think better of it, she texted him back.

Shannon: Of course, I’m not too far from there. I’ll meet you in the emergency room.

She hustled to her car and quickly made her way to the hospital. Shannon parked in the parking lot and climbed out of her car. Halfway to the doors, she heard her name being called. Looking behind her, she saw Jonathon rushing toward her with his daughter in his arms. She stopped and waited for them to approach her.

“Thank you so much for coming. Josie, baby, I want to introduce you to someone. This is my friend Shannon and she’s going to sit with you while I check on your aunt, okay?” Shannon wasn’t going to admit that it hurt that he called her a friend. Josie looked at her and gave her a small smile.

“Hi, sweetie.” Shannon reached up and stroked a hand down the little girl’s hair.

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