Page 51 of Unbelievable You

“I don’t know. Maybe. It was just something I started doing ages ago on a whim. I’d always liked doing something fun with my hair and I think Cade asked me how I did it and I replicated the look on her while I talked her through it so she could do it herself. She told me I should film it, so I did. People liked it, so I continued.”

I knew making hair tutorials wasn’t a career, but as long as I enjoyed doing it and felt creative, then I’d keep going. When it started feeling like more of a burden and less fun, I’d move on to something else. Same thing with making my watercolor art.

“I wish I had something creative like that, but I feel like I’m so worn out from already having two jobs that there’s nothing left over. I do art with my brothers sometimes. Eli is really talented. He’s writing and drawing this graphic novel right now and it’s incredible. I know he’s my brother, but it’s seriously cool. I hope he keeps his passion for it.”

We talked more about art and life and how you can change from the person you imagined you’d turn into when you were younger.

“I guess I didn’t care what I did, as long as it wasn’t being a lawyer. I’d join the fucking circus before I’d do that. And I’m not very flexible, so I’d probably end up washing sweaty costumes or something. It would still be better than law school.”

“You know, I’ve never met anyone with so many negative opinions on law school before,” she said, chuckling.

“I mean, it’s not law school, exactly. It’s the fact that from the minute I was born, I was cast in a role that no one ever asked me if I wanted to play. It was assumed I would go, and I would do what my parents did. As if I wasn’t my own person. Every time I did anything that they didn’t approve of, they were absolutely shocked, and they’d say ‘this doesn’t seem like you’ but they had no idea who I even was. Who I am now. If you asked my mom what my favorite color is, she’d get it wrong. If you asked my dad where I’d want to go on vacation, he’d get it wrong. I’ve quizzed them before. They don’t know me, and they don’t even try.” The tears on my cheeks were a surprise.

“Fuck. I didn’t call you to cry, Stace.”

“Aw, baby. You can call me for any and all reasons. I wish there was something I could do.”

She sounded like she meant it. This was the second time she’d called me baby. This time was different, though. This time it was soft, like a blanket she’d put over my shoulders. It settled on me and I didn’t hate it.

“I don’t need my hand held,” I said, feeling a little defensive.

“Everyone needs their hand held sometimes.”

I heard rustling and then Buck barking and more noises.

“I can let you go, if you’re busy,” I said.

The sound was muffled.

“Stace?”

“Yeah, gimme a second.” There were a bunch of random sounds and I wondered what the hell she was doing.

“What are you doing?” I asked and heard more shuffling and jingling and what sounded like Stace breathing heavy.

“I’m getting in my car to come see you,” she said before I heard the hum of her engine turning on. “Putting you on speaker.”

“Stace, you absolutely do not have to come over, what the hell.” I wanted to tell her to go back upstairs to her apartment because I wasn’t a baby and I didn’t need her to come and wipe my tears and tuck me in. No one had ever done that for me before and I’d grown up fine. At the same time, I could see the appeal.

“I’m coming over and so is Buck.” I heard panting and then a soft whoof.

“You really don’t have to.” My protests were getting weaker.

“Listen, there’s a reason they have therapy dogs. Buck might not be a trained therapy dog, but he can pretend. Right boy?” Another quiet bark.

She did have a point about that.

I got out of bed and looked around my place, but it was clean. It was always clean. In addition to having a professional cleaner, I didn’t like it when anything was out of place. Made me anxious. I enjoyed living in a place that looked beautiful all the time. Gave me peace. Made me feel like my life was together. Or maybe it was a product of the way I’d grown up. Even when I’d been younger, you couldn’t tell that my parents had a child living in their home.

Going to the bathroom sink, I washed my face and made sure I didn’t look like too much of a mess.

Far too soon, my phone went off and I buzzed Stace in.

Not only did she arrive with Buck, she arrived with a bunch of other things.

“Sorry. I didn’t know how long I’d be here so I wanted to be prepared.” She shoved a dog bed in my arms and waltzed in with a gym bag slung over her shoulder that she set on the counter.

Buck sniffed at me and wagged his tail before running around my apartment to sniff everything else.

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