Page 37 of Between the Lines

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

I GETA lot of repeat questions in my in-box. You, my dear readers, have helped me to define some of the most common problems of our generation. The one on my mind today is, can you ever really let an ex back into your life?

Hear me out. We’re all familiar with that phenomenon where our memories make things in the past seem better than they actually were. So when an ex comes back into your life, and you’re consumed by that flood of emotion that inevitably shows up with it, how can you be rational? Throw sex into the game, and it’s like all of your efforts to move on and heal have disappeared like a puff of smoke.

The question you ask me, time and again, is if I think a relationship can be different the second time around. Can a cheater change his stripes? Can you find common ground when you want different things? Can people grow up, can people change? I don’t have the answer to that for you. What I can tell you is what I’ve discovered for myself this week—even if it’s scary, even if it means you might get hurt, aren’t you going to be disappointed if you don’t try? Now, I’m not talking getting back with someone who didn’t treat you well, or taking an abuser back because he asked you nicely. But what if the reason you parted ways with someone ultimately came down to youth and stupidity? What if, as an adult, they’re the best thing that ever happened to you? Will you turn them away because you never make the same mistake twice? Or will you let them back in, even knowing that you might get—probably will get—hurt again?

Is the experience worth the pain?

Thoughtfully yours,

Jojo Kink

“Hey.” Jo jumped when Theo poked his head into her office. She hurriedly—and not very subtly—closed the screen of her laptop, not wanting him to see the post she was working on. When she’d sat down at her computer that morning, she’d debated which topic on Theo’s list to tackle first, but ultimately, when her fingers started to fly over the keyboard, she’d found herself writing about him.

She wasn’t ready for him to read it, though. She might not ever be. But it had been cathartic to get her feelings out into words.

“You left before I woke up.” He studied her with those dark eyes as he entered the office that had been assigned to her, closing the door behind him. She sat up straighter when she saw the sternness on his face.

“I had to get ready for work.” She cocked her head slightly but saw that he knew the truth.

“And?” He crossed his arms over his chest, his muscles pulling at the fabric of his suit. After the up-close and personal look she’d gotten at his muscles a few days earlier, it was extra distracting, because all she wanted to do was rip off his jacket and shirt and run her tongue over the bumps and ridges.

She considered pretending not to know what he was talking about, but he would see right through it. Sighing, she tucked a ribbon of hair behind her ear and leaned back in her desk chair.

“I just needed to think,” she admitted, shifting restlessly in the cushioned seat.

“You couldn’t think with me there?” His voice was gruff, and she saw that she’d actually wounded him, which hadn’t been her intention at all.

“I’m sorry,” she blurted out, rubbing her suddenly sweaty palms together. “You’re—you’re very distracting. I needed to think about you, but I couldn’t be around you while I did.”

“You needed to think about me, huh?” Crossing the room, he only stopped when he could brush against her knees as he sat. “And what conclusion did you come to?”

Her mouth was dry. She reached for her coffee cup, only to find it was empty. She replaced it on the desk, desperate for something to do with the nervous energy in her hands.

“You might hurt me again,” she started, holding up a hand when thunderclouds gathered fast and thick in his eyes. “Just bite back on your temper for a second, okay? You might hurt me. I might hurt you. I feel like I still know you, the real you, but the truth is that I’m missing the details on a huge chunk of your life. I’m terrified that that’s going to jump out and bite me on the ass.”

“If anyone is going to bite you on the ass, it’s going to be me,” he promised darkly before gesturing for her to continue. “Go on.”

“But...” The words stuck in her throat, nearly choking her before she forced them out. “Nobody ever made me feel the way you do. I don’t think anybody else can. So... I want to keep exploring whatever this is. Slowly.”

He lifted her out of the chair by her elbows. She sucked in a breath when he brushed his lips over hers so softly it felt like butterfly wings. “There’s never been anything slow about either of us, Jo. We both jump headfirst, all or nothing. But know that when you fly off that cliff, I’ll be right there beside you.”

“When did you learn to be so smooth?” She huffed out a laugh, pressing her forehead against him.

“Baby, I’ve always been smooth.” He grinned down at her, then jerked his chin at her laptop. “Now. What were you working on that you so desperately don’t want me to see?”

“Nothing.” The lie was automatic. Damn it, she wasn’t ready for him to read those words yet. “It’s nothing. It’s not ready. Don’t open that.”

“You know that just makes me want to look even more, right?” Arching an eyebrow, he reached for the computer. She smacked his hand—and wasn’t gentle about it.

“You did not just smack me.” His eyes glittered, and she felt something dark come to life inside her.

“You’re not going to read that. Not as long as I’m standing here.” Stubbornly, she lifted her chin in the air.

“Oh really?” Bending down to her height, he brushed his lips over the shell of her ear. “I’ve heard that I can be very distracting.”

“Damn you,” she exhaled, then before she could overthink it, she snatched up the laptop and darted to the far side of the office. Pressing herself back into the corner, she watched Theo warily as she fought to keep a grip on the computer with her slick hands.