Page 155 of Embracing the Change

“No, don’t go,” Jamie called. “We’re finishing up.” He went back to Judge. “Sit with this. Process it. I’ll let you know when I talk to Dru. And then we’ll get together and figure out what’s next.”

“Okay, Dad. Thanks for telling me.”

“Thanks for handling it so well.”

“Not a problem, since I think it’s the shit. I can’t wait to tell Chloe. If you hear her shriek of glee all the way to New York, you know I’ve done the deed.”

And his son made him laugh.

Through it, he said, “Much love to you, Judge. Give Chloe and JT a kiss for me.”

“You got that back, and I will. Later, Dad.”

They hung up, and Jamie focused on Nico.

“You sure you were done talking to Judge?” Nico asked. “Honestly, I can come back.”

“We were done, Nico.”

And he’d been in the thick of it with Judge, but he knew the minute Nico showed late that morning that he needed to make sure there was time for this chat.

He knew this when Nico came through the front door wearing a brown Tom Ford button down and jeans, nice boots, and a brown military-style Tom Ford jacket.

Jamie sensed this was not an outfit approved by Felice.

It wasn’t like Nico had been in flipflops and a T-shirt that last time he came home. But the short-sleeved button down and faded jeans he’d worn that time were both probably purchased at the Gap.

Nico was reclaiming himself, and undoubtedly, Felice wasn’t a fan.

He watched Nico move to the sofa across from him and sit down.

“I’m going to make this easy on you and let you know that Darryn is a great guy, but he tells his wife everything,” Jamie said quietly.

Nico looked to the fireplace. “Right.”

“I’ve been divorced,” Jamie reminded him, getting his attention back. “And lost a wife to cancer.” He let his lips tip up ruefully. “I’ve got all the shitty experiences under my belt.”

“I love her,” Nico blurted.

Jamie nodded.

There was pain in Nico’s face, and his voice, when he asked, “Is sometimes love not enough?”

Jamie thought of Belinda.

“I hate to tell you this, but yes. Sometimes love isn’t enough.”

Nico’s face flushed with emotion, but he asked, “Are you cool with talking about this?”

“I’m very cool with it,” Jamie assured.

“This is a lot, we don’t know each other very well, but I don’t want you to think I’ve got some kind of screw loose.”

Jamie might speak plain and do it as a habit, but he wasn’t going to remind Nico that he’d witnessed how he was with his father, so he knew, when Nico needed someone to turn to of maturity who’d been there, his father was not going to be that.

Instead, he said, “I can’t say I haven’t fallen into this trap in my lifetime, more than once. Too many times to feel comfortable. And that’s because I should have been smart enough to figure it out long before it became uncomfortable. That’s to say, I understand that somewhere in our evolutionary history, men decided that talking and expressing their emotions is a weakness. And they made that decision because women do it, so they segregated it into feminine and masculine, with anything they erroneously deemed as weak being feminine. Women can feel and share. But even though men feel just as much, they cannot. And frankly, that’s just, plain, fucking stupid. Like women, we feel hurt, joy, sorrow, elation, betrayal. Burying emotion and becoming an asshole no one wants to deal with doesn’t seem like a wise answer to life’s many issues. Getting shit out with someone you can trust, working your way through it, and hopefully finding some answers is a better way to go about it. Don’t you agree?”

Nico was staring at him, but he used his mouth to say, “You really don’t hold back.”

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