Page 33 of The Bratva's Plus-Size Bride

I giggled to myself at the thought as I followed them, and soon enough, we were heading through the city and chatting in the back of the SUV.

It didn’t take much time at all for me to realize just how right Lara had been. As we sat in a sauna and allowed the steam to relax us, I found myself not wanting to leave despite the mild discomfort of that heat.

Lara let out a satisfied exhale. “You two have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for moments like this. I was stuck surrounded by testosterone for far too long. But this is so nice.”

Me and Vivian both snickered at her admission, only able to imagine how difficult that must’ve been for her.

As much as I always wanted siblings of my own, it was hard for me to wrap my head around the idea of having multiple brothers and no relief from that inevitable chaos.

“I love them dearly, but they’re animals sometimes,” she hummed, head tipped back while she effortlessly soaked in the sauna’s benefits. “My cousin Anastasia knows what I’m talking about. She’s in the same boat.”

“Speaking of boys, how have you and Ben been lately?” Vivian asked lightly, sounding genuinely curious.

While it would’ve been easier and simpler to give her a rather bland response, I decided against it and chose to be more honest. “Things have been better than at the start, but we've reached a bit of a weird middle ground. We both seem to want the same thing, and we’ve been making strides, but something still isn’t quite right. I don’t know how to explain it…”

Even if I didn’t think my explanation was all that helpful, Vivian seemed to understand immediately. “I know the feeling. My marriage with Ari didn’t start with any love at all. In fact, I hated him. I was so mad at first.”

My brows came together as I met her gaze. “Really? But you two seem so close, almost like you were made for each other.”

She smiled at that. “Really. It wasn’t always that way between us, but we made it work. There were a lot of ups and downs and a few scary moments, but he showed me just how serious he was, and I got to know him beyond his tough exterior.”

I allowed myself to soak in her words. While I found myself not hating the idea of being married to Ben as time went on, that doubt lingered in my mind when it came to his determination to maintain something between us. I was afraid he would run out of steam or just give up altogether, but seeing how perfect Vivian and Ari were for each other, I felt a renewed spark of hope in my chest.

Vivian’s smile grew more supportive as I pondered the idea. “It probably seems uncomfortable and weird right now, but I’m sure you two will reach a more solid place. It can be hard work, especially keeping each other accountable, but I know you can get there. Just have patience and don’t try to rush anything.”

I was surprised by how much her encouragement seemed to genuinely help me, and I smiled faintly at the idea. “Thanks, Vivian. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who has experienced this. It definitely feels like uncharted territory.”

“At least having ties to the world of organized crime certainly keeps things interesting. You never really know what to expect, especially when it comes to marriage,” she murmured with a knowing grin. “Although, they always seem to find a way to make it worth it.”

Catching on to her suggestion, I mirrored her expression and nodded.

Lara groaned with exaggerated disgust at the topic as she fanned herself. “It’s so weird hearing my brothers being talked about like this…I know it’s inevitable, but girl talk gets a little strange in this situation.”

Aware of that strange gray area for her, Vivian and I laughed.

“Sorry, Lara,” I offered, unable to hold back.

She sighed and shrugged. “It’s alright. Anyway, I’m glad you’re starting to come around to the idea, at least. You should’ve seen how miserable Ben was before he met you…he’d try to act all nonchalant about it, but he was always moping about not being married like Ari and our cousins. I could tell it was weighing on him.”

“It’s hard to imagine him being like that. He always seems so sure of himself.”

Lara snickered. “That’s true, but honestly, it was a little sad. Although, he seems different now. More level and able to think about other things, at least. I can already tell you’re a great match for him.”

I smiled at that, warmed by the idea of having a positive effect on Ben.

Before, I wouldn’t have cared less about that, but with us both trying to make things work, it was an appealing thought to consider.

By the end of our spa day, I couldn’t help but feel more connected to the girls. It was nice to have the chance to get out and spend some quality time with people who understood both the nuances of our interesting lives and how necessary it was to have those moments of reprieve.

They made our time together feel easy and spontaneous, and I was looking forward to another girls' day.

Beyond that, I felt a little different about the whole situation. My mind was opening up to everything going on between me and Ben, and while things weren’t perfect, there was still time to work towards it.

If Ari and Vivian were any indication of what could happen with patience and effort, then I could see how it would be worth it.

Our marriage was unconventional, but that didn’t mean it had to be void of feelings or connection.

Chapter 18 - Benedikt

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