Page 41 of Better Than Expected

Unsurprised to see Abbie standing outside – she’d deliberately been quick because she knew her daughter was a sneak – she set her firm face on as she arched an eyebrow at Abbie. “Did you give Caroline a hard time today over doing your book report?”

Abbie was quiet but chewed on her bottom lip – an instant guilty tell – for a long moment before she shrugged both of her shoulders up, defiantly. “We were supposed to do decorations! My book report isn’t due for days.”

Hannah put her hands on her hips as she walked over to her daughter and bent down to get on her level, her voice low but stern, “Well, your biggest mistake today was talking to Caroline so poorly. When Caroline asks you to do something – like your homework – do you really think it’s any different than when I ask you to do it?”

Abbie’s face fell and the defiance that was there slowly slipped into a sad, tired frown as she admitted, “No.”

She could tell that Abbie was being genuine. Especially as she reached up and rubbed at her tired eyes with a fist in a manner that was very similar to her much younger self that Hannah sometimes missed.

Yeah, whole-weekend sleepovers might have to be re-thought for the time being with this kind of lack of sleep.

Hannah gave Abbie a little nod and reached out to put her hands on Abbie’s shoulders. “Why don’t you go up to your room and have a little time to yourself to reflect, rest, and prepare the rest of your report while dinner’s cooking? And think about the apology you want to give Caroline, too.”

“Can I have my cookie from the advent calendar first?” Abbie gave her an expectant look.

Hannah opened her mouth to answer – no – before she caught herself. This one, for the first time in Abbie’s life, wasn’t her call; after all, she hadn’t purchased that calendar. “I don’t know, what did Caroline say?”

That deferment felt odd, she’d admit. But it didn’t feel wrong, and she marveled at that.

Abbie’s blue eyes rolled before she let out a big sigh. “She said I can’t have it until after dinner, now.”

“Then, I guess we know the answer to that, don’t we?”

Abbie reluctantly nodded, sighed, and started up the stairs. Hannah watched her go for a moment, before she turned around to give Caroline a little smile, as she met those dark eyes that had watched the entire interaction.

She didn’t know how to express all of the feelings that sat inside of her, as she registered the weight of them.

Caroline still looked a bit shell-shocked as she poked her head through the doorway from which she’d clearly watched the entire interaction. “I–”

The rest of what she was going to say was stolen by Hannah’s mouth and a surprised squeal – very not-Caroline-like, Hannah thought, as she smiled against those full lips, and deepened the kiss by sliding her tongue into Caroline’s mouth.

Hannah didn’t know how to put it into words.

This feeling that sat inside of her with Caroline and Abbie this evening – that Caroline had now seen and dealt with Abbie on a bad day, and she did it in a way Hannah herself would have. That even if neither of them realized it, Abbie had reached a point with Caroline where she was able to let herself express defiance, without being afraid that Caroline wouldn’t be there at the end of it.

She knew for damn sure that Abbie didn’t have tantrums or defiance or attitude toward Michael – maybe in a few years, it might happen, but Hannah knew enough about her daughter’s subconscious, had done enough reading, and talking about it with her own therapist to know that Abbie would never push Michael away, due to the deeply rooted fear that he wouldn’t be there at all anymore if she did.

And most of all, she realized as she pulled back from the kiss – but only far enough to look into Caroline’s eyes in her own shock – that sharing the parenting of Abbie with Caroline, Hannah’s most precious and prided aspect of her adulthood identity, didn’t make her feel less at all.

It didn’t make her feel afraid or worried or codependent.

It made her feel like things were… right.

December 25 – This Year

“Foras much as I love my nieces and nephews, I’ve definitely never given my siblings the credit they deserve on Christmas,” Caroline murmured against Hannah’s ear through a yawn as they sat back on the couch as Abbie finished opening her gifts.

Hannah turned an amused smile on her girlfriend, enjoying her tousled dark locks that she still hadn’t brushed since waking up a couple of hours ago. “Aren’t you the pro when it comes to kids?”

Caroline groaned as she leaned her head back, “Yes, and don’t you forget it,” she poked her finger into Hannah’s side, before she let her hand fall to Hannah’s thigh and settled in a light, warm touch. “However, I am not a pro when it comes to Christmas.”

“This, I know,” Hannah agreed. “But you’ve held your own.”

“I would hope so! Up until one finishing up everything for Christmas morning, and then woken up at seven… I even ate half of Santa’s cookies,” Caroline shot a lazy, charming grin her way, before she sat up to tell Hannah in a serious whisper, “And still, it was the best Christmas I’ve had by far.”

Nerves edged into Hannah’s stomach and she bit her lip, searching those dark eyes, “Yeah?”

Caroline nodded. “Yeah.”

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