Page 59 of Protecting Jess

“May I?” she asked.

No!

She simply nodded, but turned her face away so she wouldn’t see her mom’s finger on the horror that Bartholomew had inflicted on her. Her mom’s featherlight touch was soothing and comforting.

“What happened, sweetie?”

Jess met her mom’s gaze. Shining in their depths, there was understanding, as if her mom already knew the whole story.

Had she gotten it wrong? Had Finn told them?

Again, Jess doubted he had, because there was no way her dad wouldn’t have barged into her room demanding answers. Unless he’d been wanting to do that, and Mom had convinced him to let her ask the questions.

Maybe her dad’s beach trip with her siblings was simply a ruse.

Jess’s head began to pound at all the possibilities, and all she wanted was for Finn to walk into the room so she didn’t have to face telling her mom how naïve she’d been. How she’d been flattered at the attention, because her heart had been bruised by Finn.

No, it wasn’t her SEAL’s fault she’d gotten involved with Bartholomew. She’d made the decision to date him. She’d liked him. Had thought him attractive.

“I don’t know if I want to tell you,” Jess said eventually.

Her mom studied her, her finger still stroking the scar. “You’re an adult and it’s your choice not to tell me. Or your father. You must know that whatever caused this, we won’t judge you. If this happened because you felt like you couldn’t talk to us about what was going through your mind, then I’m sorry we didn’t give you the safe space you needed.”

It took a second for Jess to process what her mom was saying. Her attention darted to the scar. The location. The direction of it. And it hit her what her mom, and possibly her dad, had thought when they’d seen the scar. “Oh, Mom! No! It’s not that. Not what you’re thinking. I didn’t do it to myself. Someone did it to me.” Guilt slammed into Jess that her parents hadn’t asked her about her scar because they’d thought she’d tried to end her life. That they hadn’t shown her that she could come to them with her problems and felt like they’d let her down.

How could she have been so stupid as to believe if she’d told them what was going on with Bartholomew, they’d think she had failed them?

Sure, they would’ve been worried and would’ve wanted her to come home, but deep down, Jess’s assumption that they’d forbid her from going back to New York wasn’t true. Her parents wouldn’t stop her from continuing her career. Her parents weren’t like that. They were loving and caring.

“I’m sorry, Mom. I’m so sorry if you and Dad have been thinking that for the last few days.” Tears plopped down on her sheet, the moisture spreading out like a ripple in a lake.

“Jess, sweetie, it’s okay.” Her mom enveloped her in a hug, and she clung to the woman who’d been her rock since she’d been eight years old. Who’d almost sacrificed her life when they’d been kidnapped by her mom’s former boyfriend’s brother.

Nothing ever felt as good as being hugged by her mom, except maybe being hugged by Finn.

Once Jess had composed herself and was sure she could get through the story without breaking down, she took a deep breath. “His name was Bartholomew, and he loved the way I danced. He came to every show we did in New York and when we came back during a break in our tour, we went on a few dates. I liked him, and we had a good time together. But then he changed, got very controlling and demanding. When I broke things off, he stalked me. It got to the point where he was sending horrible things to my apartment. He would be backstage after shows, and I had to wait for hours before he would leave.”

“Jess, why didn’t you say something to us? We could’ve got one of your dad’s friends to give us advice. Or we could’ve got Beth to dig into his background. We would’ve been there for you.”

Jess had forgotten her dad’s computer genius friend, Beth. She’d heard the stories of how Beth had been instrumental in finding her dad’s friends’ wives when they’d gone missing. “I don’t know. I was worried Dad would demand I return home. You know he wasn’t happy with me going to Julliard, and even less because I stayed in New York when I’d graduated.”

Mom chuckled. “You know your dad is all bluster. He wouldn’t have stopped you from pursuing your dreams. He just doesn’t like his children straying far from the fold. But he is also so very proud of you. Proud of your independence. He would’ve been scared, but he wouldn’t have tried to make you come home.”

Intellectually, she’d known that. But emotionally, it wouldn’t have taken much for her to have been convinced to return home. Going back to her parents’ place would represent safety and security. By staying in New York, she’d proven to herself she didn’t need the safety net her parents’ love and home provided.

Jess sighed. “I guess deep down I knew that, but…”

“But you needed to deal with it yourself. Needed to take back control of your life that this Bartholomew person was taking from you.”

“Yes. This.”

Her mom had hit the nail on the head. Had been able to articulate what she hadn’t been able to put into words or thoughts.

“I take it, he decided, because he couldn’t have you, no one else could.” Her mom’s voice was shaky.

Jess touched her scar, now not a symbol of weakness, but a symbol of strength. “He cornered me and slashed the knife down my arm. I can still feel the warmth of my blood spurting out, coating my arm. I don’t know how I did it, but I managed to get away and get out onto the street. I collapsed on the ground, but there were two police officers who helped me. He’s in jail now and, from what Finn’s found out, he hasn’t had anything to do with what’s been happening to me.”

Mom’s eyes went wide. “What do you mean ‘what’s been happening to you’? Has there been something more than this stabbing? Are you saying it wasn’t random but a deliberate attack?” Her mom’s voice got higher and higher until she was practically yelling.

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