Page 31 of Guarded from Corruption

But after searching dozens of buildings in the area where they think I was held, Niall and his team haven’t found anything. They think that by now, almost two weeks later, the people behind this packed up all their stuff and found a new location. That as soon as I escaped, they were making plans to move.

So that’s another terrible thought. A new facility, one I can’t even help locate, still with those poor women trapped inside. Women I couldn’t help.

Those are the thoughts that work at me, like a splinter dug in deep. Making my chest get tight, my hands jittery, filling me with this urgent need to fix something.

That’s something I’ve been talking to my new counselor about—how to calm myself without having to clean or organize. Henley actually lives out in New Mexico and provides treatment for people with PTSD out there, but she knows the Blade and Arrow guys and said she’d be happy to do virtual sessions with me.

I was hesitant at first, not about the counseling, but of anyone knowing where I am. But then I figured if Niall trusts her, if his team trusts her, I can too.

That’s why I said okay when he asked about involving a couple of his friends in law enforcement even though the idea of it scared the crap out of me. But he promised that Quint and Hayden would be discreet and leave my name completely out of it. “They understand,” Niall explained, “that sometimes a team like mine can get more done because we’re not restricted by bureaucracy. So as long as it’s not illegal, they’ll quietly help us get information.”

I trust Niall—always have, even when we weren’t on the best terms—but now it feels deeper. Like I don’t just trust Niall with the practical things, like security and protection, but the things I keep hidden, too.

I’ve let him see my fears and anxieties and all my vulnerabilities. He sees me when I’m feeling weak instead of the strong woman I’ve always tried to show the world. And he makes me feel okay about it.

There’s only one thing I’ve still held back, and I’m not sure I’m brave enough to share it.

Is it crazy to feel this way about him right now, when everything else is so out of control? When I just went through a traumatic experience?

Am I interpreting his affectionate smiles and tender hugs and intense gazes wrong?

I wish I could talk to Shea about it. Except I can’t. Not now.

I can’t tell her, oh, by the way, I was abducted by traffickers and your brother is protecting me while I stay in his apartment and I’ve been half in love with him for years and I think I might be falling for him.

Yeah. Maybe not the best conversation to have over text, especially when Niall and I agreed it’s safer not to tell Shea what’s happening. She’d want to come here right away, and the last thing I want is for my best friend to be near this.

“Jade, I got the phone all set up.”

Niall appears out of nowhere—at least it seems like he does—and I let out a small yip of surprise. Last I saw him, he was hunched over a pile of tools and gadgets at the dining room table, and he somehow made it to the couch without me noticing.

“Sorry, hun.” His handsome face creases in apology. “I thought you heard me.”

“It’s okay. I was just…” Thinking about you? Focusing more on my complicated feelings for you than anything else? Maybe not. “Thinking about how good it’ll be to check in with Shea.”

He sits down beside me and rests his hand on my nape, massaging gently. “I’ll walk louder next time. We’re trained to move quietly, but?—”

“It’s fine.” His fingers hit a stubborn knot and I can’t keep a small moan from escaping.

His eyes flare with something—surprise? Interest?—but he quickly covers it. “So. I was thinking. After you’re done talking to Shea, would you want to head out to the barn for a little party?” He pauses. “Not a party, really. Just the team and a few of our friends from San Antonio. Just low key—grilling, some beers, maybe some cornhole. I just thought it might be fun for you. Something different.”

I’m torn. Part of me wants desperately to say yes. To have a bit of normalcy. To spend time having fun with Niall and his friends. But then… what if I panic? What if one of his friends says something…

In my silence, Niall’s expression softens. “It’s okay if you don’t want to. Really. But our friends, they know not to tell anyone you’re here. I trust them. One of the guys I’ve known since basic. I thought you might like to meet him. But it can wait if you don’t feel ready…”

Stop being afraid. “I’d love to.”

His face lights up. “Great. I can’t wait for you to meet TJ and his wife, Milena. You’ll love them.” A tiny ping sounds from his watch and he glances down at it. “Everyone’s going to head out to the barn in about an hour. Does that work?”

“Sure.”

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the phone he was messing with. “Okay. This can’t be traced or hacked. And I sent Shea a new phone just like this, I told her we need to use them for B and A business, and since she’s my sister…” He hands the phone to me. “So you guys can talk on this without worrying.”

I beam at him. “Thank you, Niall. For this. And… everything, really.”

Niall gives me a quick hug before standing up. “Anything to make you smile.” His cheeks go pink, and he bends over and presses a lightning fast kiss to the top of my head. “I’ll give you some privacy.”

As soon as I hear the shower come on—I’m not sure why, it’s not like I’m planning on telling Shea anything I wouldn’t want Niall to know, not now at least—I dial her number.

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