Page 35 of Guarded from Corruption

Crap.

In the midst of my silent self-flagellation, Jade says, “I’m glad I went out there. Met everyone. I hate that I got scared by it, because that’s not me.”

My heart pinches. “Ah, hun. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry.” Her gaze is steady. “In my job, I’m around new people all the time. So I need to force myself to get used to it again. I don’t want to turn into someone who’s scared of everything. So it was good I went out there, even though it was hard.”

She’s so damn strong, but I can’t help wanting to protect her.

I’m just about to lean in to hug Jade when the next thing she says freezes me in place. “I know you said I could stay here. In your apartment. But I don’t want you to feel obligated, Niall. I know the client apartment is almost done; Rhiannon asked if I wanted to help with some of the decorating. I can stay there if you want.”

Through a constricting chest, I ask, “Is that what you want?”

Uncertainty flashes in her eyes. “I… I’m worried. That I’m making you… uncomfortable. That I’m in the way. All my cleaning, and the organizing, and the?—”

My answer is immediate. “You don’t make me uncomfortable. And I don’t want you to leave.”

She glances at the gap of space between us and her brow furrows. “Are you sure?”

Shit. Have I been doing this all wrong? But I couldn’t crowd Jade, not after everything she’s been through. I have to give her the space to make her own choices.

It takes several seconds to sort through my thoughts, trying to find the right thing to say. “I wanted to give you space. The last thing I want is to trigger you by getting too close. After everything… I couldn’t bear it if I scared you.”

“You couldn’t.” Jade scoots over a few inches. Her blue eyes are wide and earnest. “Never, Niall. Nothing you could do would scare me.”

My heart skitters. Jumps. There’s this look in her eyes, almost like she’s feeling the same way as me.

But if I say something and mess things up… If I hurt Jade, I’ll never forgive myself.

“What if…” She pauses and slides over another few inches. “What if I don’t want space?”

My breath catches. Carefully, I ask, “What do you mean?”

Hesitantly, almost timidly, Jade replies, “What if I want to be close to you?”

Warmth explodes inside me. But I’m still cautious, afraid I could be misunderstanding her. “Close like friends? Or… more than that?”

I feel like I’m back in high school, trying to figure out how to ask my crush to go out with me.

“Am I wrong?” Jade tilts her head as she looks at me. “I thought… maybe you felt the same way. Like you might want to be more? Or am I making a giant fool of myself? Maybe I am.” Her voice gets higher and faster as she continues, “I mean, I probably am and just made everything weird. We’ve known each other for so long, and if nothing ever happened?—”

My arms come around her, pulling her gently to my chest. “I always thought about you. But I was active duty. And you had so much going for you. It wouldn’t have been fair?—”

“I thought about you, too. All the time. I wished…”

Hope wars with hesitancy. “I don’t want to hurt you, Jade. Or rush you. I care about you too much.”

There’s a pause, long enough to wonder if Jade’s changed her mind. Then she says, “I don’t want to rush, either. But I’ve known you for twelve years. So… maybe a kiss wouldn’t be rushing things? After all this time? If you wanted?”

My hand cups her cheek, and it’s like touching the softest satin. “I would. If you’re sure.”

Her hand moves to my leg, and she leans in toward me. Less than a foot away, her face is breathtakingly beautiful. A faint pink flush high on her cheeks, those adorable freckles, delicate brows, sky-blue eyes turning dark with desire and anticipation.

“I’m sure.”

In other circumstances, I’d take the lead. Drag Jade close and kiss her until she’s breathless from it. Lift her onto my lap so I can feel her body flush against mine. Feel her nipples tightening into hard peaks, rubbing against my chest.

But not this time. This time, I wait for Jade to come to me.

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