Page 28 of Guarded from Corruption

She looks so pretty and sweet and there’s this cautious hope in her eyes, like she really wants to spend the evening watching movies with me. Everything else I thought I might do tonight—a second workout, more studying maps, double checking our weapon supply lists—is pushed aside.

I hold her gaze. “I can finish it later.”

Yes, it’s important, especially searching for the facility where they kept Jade. But if this will make her happy, distract her from the unpleasant thoughts in her head, help her feel safe… that’s important, too.

So we end up on the couch with a veritable buffet of snacks on the table in front of us. I recruited Xavier to run into town to pick up the snacks, and he came back with three heaping bags full of them—twenty different candies, ten bags of chips, two boxes of microwave popcorn, plus ingredients to make nachos and mini pizzas and pigs in a blanket.

“You said to get some of everything,” he said defensively as I eyed the mountains of food. “So I did.”

But I’m not complaining. Not when Jade laughs at the enormous selection and it’s the happiest she’s sounded since she got here.

And I’m definitely not complaining when she actually digs in to the food instead of picking at it like she usually does.

When she insists on turning the AC down so she can cuddle under a blanket, and she tucks it over both our legs with a happy sigh, the last thing I feel like doing is complaining.

We start out with one of Jade’s favorite movies, 13 Going on 30, and midway through I can’t help teasing, “This thirteen-year-old girl wants to be thirty? So she has to work? Pay bills? That doesn’t sound very fun to me.”

Jade turns toward me, her leg brushing against mine, and smirks. “I seem to remember Shea telling me that Big was one of your favorite movies as a kid. That you were obsessed with finding a machine just like the one in the movie. You can’t tell me that movie and this one aren’t basically the same.”

Shea. I’m going to have a word with her about appropriate stories to share with her friends.

“They aren’t the same,” I retort, even though now that she’s mentioned it, I’m realizing they are pretty similar.

“Really?” Her lips twitch. “How are they different?”

“Well.” I cast about for a second. “Big was about toys. 13 Going on 30 is about a magazine.”

She gives me an is that all you’ve got look. “Fine,” I grumble, trying to hide my smile. “They’re really similar. But in my defense, I didn’t want to be older so I could go on a carnival ride. I wanted to be old enough to join the Army.”

A sad expression moves across Jade’s face. “You wanted to join ever since you were a kid, didn’t you?”

“I did. My grandfather was Army, and my dad really wanted to enlist, but he had a heart murmur. Nothing serious, but enough to keep him out. Growing up, I’d hear stories about my grandfather; all the brave things he did. My dad was so proud of him. I wanted to do the same thing. Travel and protect people. Protect my country.”

“Your dad must have been so proud of you.”

A shaft of sorrow spears through me at the loss that’s never fully healed. But I smile as I answer, “Yes. He was. Especially when I finished Ranger school. I’m really glad he got to see that before…”

“Oh, Niall.” Jade touches my arm. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up bad memories.”

“You didn’t.” At her doubtful look, I explain, “Yeah, I miss them. And there are things I wish my dad could have seen. Me becoming a Green Beret. Joining Blade and Arrow. But then I think… he does know. My parents are watching from somewhere, and I know my dad is proud of me.”

A sheen mists over her eyes. “He is. He has to be. Everything you’ve done…” A little sniffle, and then, “Are you okay? Not being a Green Beret anymore? I’ve thought about it ever since… I just know you loved it so much.”

Oh.

This feeling in my chest.

In the midst of everything Jade’s going through, she’s worried about me. Has worried about me.

Did I make a terrible mistake keeping her at a distance?

But she’s looking at me with those big blue eyes, so concerned, and I don’t want her taking on that guilt again, so I quickly assure her, “I’m okay. Really. I won’t say it wasn’t hard at first, but I don’t regret leaving. Shea needed me. And now… it all worked out. I’ve got some of my teammates with me again. And I have a new team.”

“So you’re happy here? At Blade and Arrow?”

“I am. It’s the best of both worlds. I get to help people, I have my team, but I’m not traveling all the time. I get vacations. If I want to visit Shea, I can. Or she can come here. I can see the people I care about more.”

What I think but don’t say is, if I wasn’t at Blade and Arrow, I wouldn’t have been able to help Jade. She wouldn’t be sitting next to me, close enough that I can smell the soft floral scent of her hair. I wouldn’t feel her hand on my arm.

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