Page 14 of Guarded from Corruption

But this isn’t the right time.

Years ago, I hurt Jade, and I’m not sure she’s forgiven me.

She’s been through a terrible, traumatic experience.

I’m just here to protect her.

That’s all.

CHAPTER FIVE

JADE

This is the part I’ve been dreading.

When I have to put voice to the memories.

Rationally, and as a medical professional, I know getting them out is better. I’d tell any patient who’d been through a traumatic experience that talking about the memories is healthy. I have said that; many times, actually.

Now I feel kind of like a fraud. It’s so easy to say when I’m not the one that has to relive them. When I’m Jade the PA, calm and patient and empathetic, gently giving advice about things I know in study, but not in real life.

When I get back to my job, I’m going to be more understanding.

Assuming I have a job, since I’m sure Dr. Regan isn’t too thrilled that I disappeared for a week without explanation. But he’s a good man; surely he’ll let me come back if he knows the reason.

Then again, that means I’ll have to tell him, and I’m not sure I can. He’ll never look at me the same. I won’t be the unflappable PA I promised to be when I interviewed for the job last year. He’ll always wonder if I’m going to fall apart. If I’m damaged.

That’s assuming I can even go back to work soon. Just because I’m about to tell Niall’s team everything doesn’t mean they can find out who was behind my abduction, and if they can, how long it will take.

Not just abduction. I was taken to be sold. To be one of the millions of trafficking victims I read about in articles, never dreaming it could happen to me.

Trafficking. Sold.

The belt around my chest cinches tighter. My breaths stutter. All the emotions I’ve been squeezing into a teeny box threaten to escape. A tiny sound comes from the back of my throat.

Niall turns to me, worry written all over his features. “Jade, hun. What’s wrong?” He pushes his hand through his hair and I distractedly notice that it’s longer than the last time I saw him; now long enough to show bronze highlights amid the darker brown. I guess it makes sense he’d have his hair longer, now that he’s not active duty anymore.

A shaft of guilt spears through me. Niall loved serving as a Green Beret. Maybe if I’d noticed things with Shea sooner, if it hadn’t gotten so bad, he wouldn’t have had to leave.

“Jade?” His forehead creases. “If this is too soon, we don’t have to do this. It can wait another day.”

“We can wait,” echoes Dante, who’s sitting in the armchair across from us. “The last thing we want to do is push you into something you’re not ready for.”

Rhiannon leans forward in the matching chair, resting her hands on her knees. Her gaze is warm and sympathetic. “You’re in control, Jade. You tell us what you want to do.”

Niall is still watching me intently, his strong features softening as he says gently, “You’re safe here. No one will make you do anything you don’t want to.”

Oh.

Out of the blue, I’m struck with the most irrational desire. I want to crawl into Niall’s lap and just curl up there. I want his strong arms—very muscly, it’s impossible not to notice—to come around me and hug me and I can rest my head on his chest and hear the reassuring thud of his heart?—

What?

Yes, I’ve known Niall was good-looking. Tall, almost a foot taller than my five foot four, muscles bulging from the hours of training I know he does every day. He has intense blue eyes that shift from twilight to sapphire depending on his mood, strong, angular features, and an infectious smile that could be used as a weapon if he chose to.

But he’s never been anything but brotherly toward me. And after everything, less than that.

It didn’t matter that I thought he was the most handsome man I’d ever met. Or that I respected him immensely. Or that my skin would tingle the rare time he’d touch me.

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