Page 40 of Harry

A part of her wanted to cling to Harry, and another part wanted to push away and tell him to leave her alone. She couldn’t stand herself because of everything that had happened. How could Harry stand being around her?

“Why are you settling for me when you could have anyone?” Rory whispered, but maybe she spoke louder than she thought because Harry pushed her to arm’s length and held her gaze.

“Being with you will never be settling. You aren’t the sum of what happened to you. We haven’t talked about exactly what they did or how they treated you, but Rory, I’ve seen enough of those situations to know the women who are in those places are valuable people who were treated horrendously by monsters. What that jerk did doesn’t reflect on you. You are someone beyond what happened.”

She shook her head. “I just can’t get the things he did out of my mind.”

“And that’s why you’re going to therapy and going to keep working on healing.”

He was being impossible with his hope for her future, and she wanted to show him she wasn’t worth his time.

“What if I can’t ever get over it and can’t do anything other than sit in a room and cry all day? You deserve better.”

“If all you do is cry all day, then we’ll buy you plenty of tissues and make sure you have comfortable pillows you can flop your body over.”

His suggestion was so ridiculous that laughter bubbled up. “But I won’t be doing anything.”

“You don’t have to do stuff to be valuable. You just being you is enough.”

She blew out a breath. “I want to get better, but I have these thoughts that are still in my head.” She tugged at her hair, wishing she could pull the bad thoughts out.

“Coming home is a shock. I know people think after something traumatic, they should be able to fit into the same hole they filled before. But what you went through changed your shape. It’s like that toddler’s shape-sorter puzzle. You used to be a circle, and now you’re a star. Both shapes are valid, but you need to find the place you fit.”

She stared down at the ground, worry filling her. “What if the fit I have now means I won’t be with you?”

He lifted her chin again and stared into her eyes. “If we’re together, that’s great. But I want you to live a good, fulfilling life that is pleasing to you. If that means you are not with me, that’s okay. I don’t expect anything from you. I want you to find a good place for you, not because you feel indebted to me or responsible for my feelings. I want you to succeed and I’m always going to love you.”

His words were too much. He was being too selfless. She clung to him as more sobs filled her. That someone could want the best for her without wanting something from her was too difficult to swallow.

Harry held her up, keeping her close as emotions ran over her, poking her in all the rough places that still hurt from what she’d suffered. Maybe she would heal, and life could happen again for her. Harry gave her hope. Now, she had to find a way to move toward hope and away from the despair that had settled on her in that hellhole she’d endured.

Chapter 33

“Would you come to my place?” Harry asked.

Rory bit her lower lip, unsure what she should do. “I can’t feel trapped.”

“You will never be trapped with me. I want you to be safe.”

She stared off into the distance. “I don’t know what safe is anymore.”

“Can we figure it out together?”

Rory nodded, “I’d like that.”

She still needed a place to live. For now, she was staying at an inexpensive hotel, but she would have to decide where to go soon.

Harry’s sleek, modern condo was a stark contrast to where she’d been held captive. She moved to the broad window and stared out at the city below. She could see the ocean in the distance, giving her an open feeling. She liked that feeling. She wasn’t ready to make long-term decisions, but she felt safe right here.

“When my dad gave this to me, I knew it was him just trying to make up for the past.”

She turned, narrowing her gaze. “Do you think that was all it was?”

He shrugged. “Parents can be very difficult.”

She turned back to look out the window. “I wouldn’t know.”

Harry moved closer and put his hands on her shoulders. “Come, sit on the couch, and we can talk.”